|Coming to a police station near you.|
* The militant group ISIS just released a new audio clip mocking American politicians, including John Kerry and John McCain. And Americans are really upset because they released it directly into everybody’s iTunes account.
* About 400,000 people marched in New York the other day to draw attention to climate change. They held up signs and banners. They chanted things like "Hey, hey, ho, ho, fossil fuels have got to go." You know when somebody begins a chant with "Hey, hey, ho, ho," they mean business. [Yep. Business has got to go. - Ed.]
* Then there is that new show "Gotham." It's about when Batman was a little boy and Robin was a little girl.
* A man scaled the White House fence and ran across the lawn to the front door. Is it just me or is "The Amazing Race" running out of ideas?
* The White House has re-evaluated its security and today they announced they'll start locking the front door. They're also going to start asking who's there when someone knocks.
* The Secret Service is under scrutiny after a man jumped a fence and entered the White House. In their defense, when they saw a crazed maniac running down the White House lawn, they assumed it was Biden.
* There were some major security issues at the White House over the weekend. On Friday, a guy got to the front doors of the White House, and on Saturday another guy jumped over the White House fence. Officials are wondering why it's so easy to get in, while Obama is wondering why it's so hard to get out.
* Some sad news from the world of reality TV. Mama June and Sugar Bear from "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo" are splitting up. Their lawyers are citing unintelligible differences.
* It's a sad day as we hear that America's sweethearts — the Honey Boo Boos, Mama June and Sugar Bear — are separating. They're not consciously uncoupling. That's for people who eat kale.
* Mama June and Sugar Bear are, and I quote, "broked up." Apparently Mama June caught Sugar Bear cheating with other women. They were Betty Crocker, Mrs. Butterworth, Little Debbie, Sara Lee, and Aunt Jemima.
* In another celebrity photo leak, nude photos of Kim Kardashian have been posted to the Internet. Kim said she'd be very embarrassed if only she knew how.
* The CEO of JetBlue announced he'll step down in February. Of course, it being JetBlue his actual departure may be delayed until March.
* This one’s not mine but I wish it was: "Chicago is reversing its plan to name a high school after President Obama after it received multiple complaints from people in the community. I guess parents were afraid their kids would spend eight years at the school and still not get anything done."
Ththththtat's all, fffffolks.....