No my son, I haven't. Until now.
Ladies 'n' germs, Mr. GREG SCHANKIN!
* Disney's stock just reached a new high this past week of $90.37 a share. That's when you know tickets to Disney World are too expensive — when it's actually cheaper to own part of the company.
* A new study found that having a big wedding boosts your chance of having a good marriage. While having a destination wedding boosts your chance of having friends who hate you.
* The Korean Aerospace Institute announced that their one and only astronaut resigned for personal reasons. Now all he has to do is get back to Earth.
* Kobe Bryant and Nike have teamed up to make a Beethoven-themed sneaker. They're motto is "Play basketball like an 18th century deaf German."
* Apple announced it will ban two toxic chemicals that are used in the production of iPhones. In a related story, that iPhone in your pocket right now is made of toxic chemicals.
* Last week a town in Minnesota elected a dog named Duke as its mayor. Yeah, they elected a mayor that pees on the street, sleeps on the floor, and eats out of the garbage. Then Toronto said, "Been there!"
* People are still fighting about immigration. Congress is suing the president. I'm not saying things are bad, but the Middle East just sent diplomats to negotiate peace in OUR country.
* Cinnabon is testing a concept store that will sell smaller cinnamon rolls. Yep, they say it’s perfect for people who love kidding themselves. "I’m just gonna grab one or eight of these little guys here."
* Kim says she wants to keep the baby out of the public eye. In fact, the E! network is developing a new show called, "Keeping the Baby Out of the Public Eye With the Kardashians."
* President Obama's wife Michelle has highlighted her hair. She has blond highlights in her hair. And those will probably be the only highlights of his second term.
* CNN got just 35,000 viewers. Even worse, most of those views came from monitors left on in the background on CNN.
* A Colorado man unsuccessfully tried to break into a University of Colorado ATM by spraying it with acid and waiting for it to eat the protective covering away. He was caught when authorities examined the three hours of security footage of his face.
* President Obama is sending a couple hundred troops to Iraq. We spent six years trying to figure a way to get out of Iraq. And now we're back. But this time there is an exit strategy. Barack Obama has an exit strategy. In 2016, he's gone. [Or so it is hoped. - Ed.]
* There are only seventy-one days left until Election Day, or 80 if you are a Democrat and filed for an extension.
Ththththtat's all, fffolks......