Saturday, July 5, 2014

Wisdom From The Little-Read Book: Chapter 001


* I am the king of the house. I am the monarch of the home. I am its lord.

My wife is the Prime Minister, Minister of Finance, Minister of Welfare and Human Services, Minister of Justice, Minister of the Interior, Minister of Education, head of the National Bank, Surgeon General, head of Public Health, head of Public Works, Minister of Agriculture, Minister of Domestic Affairs, and head of both the Legislature and the Supreme Court. (The Ministry of Defense is retained to the Crown as part of its long list of little-used reserve powers.)

Yes, the Kingdom of Kent is a highly constitutional monarchy.

* Nouns have gender. People have sex. All nouns have equal gender. But some people have more sex than others. But note this well: individuals do not have a gender. They have a sex. Gender varies. Sex is immutable.

* It sez here: Harry Reid: Democrats Do Not ‘Have Any Billionaires’ on their side.  Of course not. They're milliardaires.

Democrats are smarter than us. They use the 'European' system.

A billion is what you ignerent Merkins in flyover country call a "trillion."

* I have reached the point where the only thing I want to hear Obama say any more is "Guilty, your Honor."

* When I was in elementary school there were these girls who would cry, "Ewwwwww! COOOOTIES!" at the class nerds. Then they would say it to those who talked to the class nerds. Then they would say it to those who would talk to those who talked to the class nerds.

Eventually everyone had "cooties" but them.

That sums up LGF’s Charles Johnson. All this irrelevant little man ever does consists of pointing and crying "Ewwwww! COOOOOTIES!" at everyone who is not him. What a pathetic, whiny little nine year old girl he truly is. Throw him a Barbie doll and get him out of here.

* I received a series of text messages the other day from one of my clients.

They all read (more or less) the same:

"QQQQQqqqqqqqqQqqQQQQq....." Clearly butt-dialed texts, but never mind.

Anyway, I showed it to my youngest son, who immediately said

"It's the Q Continuum!"

Yes, I am raising geeks in this house.

* U.S. Const.Amend. XXIX (proposed): "It shall be considered High Treason for any President, while in office, to golf."

* My father was exceedingly cool: and he knew how to get the message across.

I told him I wanted to get a tattoo when I was young. (This was back in the 1970s before they were everywhere.)

He didn’t chew me out. In fact, he didn't say a word: he just introduced me to a shoemaker he knew who had a tattoo.

Six digits and a blue triangle.

I got the message.

* This year I tried to give up poverty for Lent. It didn’t go well.

* Intruding on comfort zones is part of my job description, alas.

* The power of compound interest is the most powerful force in the world. And that doesn't just apply to Mastercard; it applies also to people. But by God it applies to Mastercard.

* I may be politically incorrect, but I am never niggardly. I also have extensive social intercourse with thespians.

* It sez here: Harvard writer: Free speech threatens liberalism and must be destroyed. Fascism: This is how it starts. This is why I am a loudmouth: while I still can be.

* I am allergic to the thought of a man being behind bars for one instant more than is necessary. Some need to be caged for life; others, for years, as their deeds earn them. But one day behind bars more than required by the strictest interpretation of the power of the State to do so is an abomination to human dignity. Go ahead, revel in how you feel about some schmuck being arrested, having never been held captive. It's an emotion you may find to be.... most ephemeral one day. Clearly you've never been up against the Department of Homeland Security, which can take every liberty you have without you seeing a judge at a whim.... under certain circumstances.  And the circumstances are widening.

* They say that the government is allowing Bradley Manning to undergo a sex change operation. Some people are appalled. I’m all in. I mean, hey, the government wants to remove his privates! So who am I to object?

More Tuesday.

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