Monday, July 21, 2014
Ladies 'n' Germs, Mr. GREG SCHANKIN!
Actually this isn't Greg's, but from an anonymous Email I got this week, but hell, it's pretty funny, and I don't think he'll mind..... :)
* You know that stuff they make the indestructible black boxes out of? Why don't they make the entire plane out of it?
* If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?
* Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? And why do they give alcohol swabs to guys they're about to give a lethal injection to?
* If you strangled a smurf, what color would it turn?
* Why is the word 'dictionary' in the dictionary? Don't they figure that if you're looking in a dictionary, you probably know what a dictionary is?
* If you have 50 odds and ends on a shelf, and you break 49 of them, are you left with an odd or an end?
* If a mime swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?
* Why do they call them apartments if they're so close together?
* Why do people who know the least, know it the loudest?
* Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?
* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?
* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?
* If psychics can tell you what the winning lottery numbers will be, why are they still working?
* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?
* If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan?
* If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then is Congress the opposite of progress? [RLK here: Yes, and a damn good thing, too!]
* Am I the only one who's concerned that what a doctor does to us is called his 'practice'?
* Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, while dish washing detergent contains real lemons?
* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Ththththtat's all folks......
Posted by (c)2014 Richard L. Kent, Esq. (MichiganSilverback at gmail dot com) at 12:41 AM