Thursday, July 31, 2014

Extracts from the Little-Read Book: Chapter 009.

Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* "Space is big. Really big. You may think it's a long walk to the [drugstore], but that's peanuts compared to space." - Douglas Adams

* Schools are all powerful as regards their internal expulsion power. Proving damages and assigning blame/responsibility is almost impossible. All you can do is embarrass the shit out of them when their rules get out of line.

* Leftism is as much a religion as Christianity, but demands blood sacrifice.... and, hell, on that scale North Koreans are the most religious of all. (And the national anthem of the Left is 'Imagine' by John Lennon.....)

* We may be mouthbreathers.... but at least it's air in our mouths and nothing else.

* "Does the Left want peace in the culture wars?" No, they're like the aliens in "Independence Day." They want us to die.

* It sez here: "Child abuse registry called unfair, Michigan's 'biggest civil rights violation'" ( Department of Human Services. Department of Homeland Security. Same fascist mindset, slightly different title. To oppose them is the crime of opposing the bureaucrat. It is a form of Contempt of Cop; it is the only universal crime.

* It sez here: "Former Louisiana Gov. Edwin Edwards Is Running For Congress" ( | Maybe he's hoping David Duke will run against him.

* Close the border, build the Great Wall of Texas, and then a reasonable amnesty for all but the most recent arrivals. Aggressive removal of violent criminals.

* Forget medical marijuana. It's a fraud, and that's all there is to it. Make the ban universal and strictly enforce it. Screw legalization. No exceptions, no slack.

* There was a time we built Apollo rockets to fly to the moon. No longer necessary. That is what legalized marijuana is for, after all......

* Planned Parenthood President: My Childrens' Lives Began at Delivery, Not... Until then they were untermenschen and the uebermenschen had a right to exterminate zem....

* "Abortion: it must be available for the life or the wealth of the mother."

* If we looked at everything from a purely economic point of view we'd use human bone meal to fertilize our fields.

Some things are more important than pure economics. 

More Tuesday.

Wednesday, July 30, 2014

Why did the chicken......? (Not mine, alas)

Forwarded to me from FB. No, not mine.


Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road?

SARAH PALIN: The chicken crossed the road because, gosh-darn it, he's a maverick!

BARACK OBAMA: Let me be perfectly clear, i...f the chickens like their eggs they can keep their eggs. No chicken will be required to cross the road to surrender her eggs. Period.

JOHN McCAIN: My friends, the chicken crossed the road because he recognized the need to engage in cooperation and dialogue with all the chickens on the other side of the road.

HILLARY CLINTON: What difference at this point does it make why the chicken crossed the road?

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either with us or against us. There is no middle ground here.

DICK CHENEY: Where's my gun?

SHIELA JACKSON LEE: Because Republicans are racist.

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with that chicken.

AL GORE: I invented the chicken.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's intentions. I am not for it now, and will remain against it.

AL SHARPTON: Why are all the chickens white?

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the problem on this side of the road before it goes after the problem on the other side of the road. What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he is acting by not taking on his current problems before adding any new problems.

OPRAH: Well, I understand that the chicken is having problems, which is why he wants to cross the road so badly. So instead of having the chicken learn from his mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm going to give this chicken a NEW CAR so that he can just drive across the road and not live his life like the rest of the chickens.

ANDERSON COOPER: We have reason to believe there is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have access to the other side of the road.

NANCY GRACE: That chicken crossed the road because he's guilty! You can see it in his eyes and the way he walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent, hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way the chicken was going. I had a standing order at the Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little bird gave me any insider information.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain, alone.

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough for us.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the heartwarming story of how it experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to accomplish its lifelong dream of crossing the road.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2014, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents and balance your checkbook. Internet Explorer is an integral part of eChicken2014. This new platform is much more stable and will never reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Extracts from the Little-Read Book: Chapter 008.

Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* Trinity. God, Son, Spirit. Consubstantial. If a man is drawn to God by God a man is drawn to God by the Son because the Son is God. Council of Nicaea 101.

* Beware the The Fibonacci Party: they’re mean and extreme.

* Another article on the internet about the dangers of backtracked speech on music? I prefer the backtrack on a Weird Al album I heard once: "Sdnah ruoy no emit hcum oot evah uoy!"

* Green ammo is one thing. Being recycled and making the grass green myself is something else entirely.

* You can’t scare me. I survived Ottawa Jr. High in the 70s.

* The first Earth Day = Lenin's 100th. NO DUH. Green is the new red. And always was.

* "Do you want Farmer Jones to come back?" Napoleon asked as his dogs growled at his side.

* Hillary had her moment of leadership at Bengazi and she f---ed up. Like her husband but worse (he only screwed his assistant; she abandoned the Four to death). The idea of her in the White House is enough to make me ill. Of course, the present alternative (Senatrix Warren, also known as Fauxahontas) is even worse if possible.

* So your objection to Christianity is what? That it is used as a power trip to control the masses? So is every other form of religion, including state atheism.... which does a far nastier job of it.

* Lesson from growing up in the 1970s: MJ is a bad thing. Don't smoke it. Don't legalize it.

* People are ready to support a strong chancellor. One who will control the bureaucracy and end corruption.....

* One of the most deep seated bigotries is that of people now living over those living in the past. We are not any better – or worse – than they are. Human nature is depressingly stable. Damn apple.

* It sez here: A Baby Monkey's First Bath Time Is So Adorable! I Can't Turn Away! ( Very cute video of baby monkey getting a bath. But. The comments. ((SMH)) The comments imply that the person doing the bathing is being evil because The Monkey Is Not Living In The Wild With Its Mother. Utterly absurd, particularly since this is a rescue monkey and if the human weren't there the monkey wouldn't be either. Geez. people.

* If science seems to prove some belief of the Catholic faith wrong, all the Faith has to do is to wait for science to advance further when it will in essence agree with the Catholic faith again. No worries. Just ask Father Lamaitre. (We've been around for a LONG time. We’re patient. We’ll wait.)

More Thursday.

Monday, July 28, 2014

Dammit. Monday. Gotta find something to Hey, it's GREG'S GIGGLES!

Ladies ‘n’ Germs, Mr. Greg Schankin!

* I heard that Rob Ford's nephew is planning to run for a seat on the Toronto City Council. He has an interesting campaign slogan: "I'm adopted!"

* Officials are concerned that people in Los Angeles are too apathetic about the drought. We're not doing anything about it. Of course, that will change next week when they announce that the drought is killing all the marijuana crops.

* President Kennedy said let's put a man on the moon, and by God, 10 years later we put a man on the moon. Sunday was the 45th anniversary. Nowadays a big deal for us is we combined the croissant and the doughnut to get a cronut.

* When we landed on the moon everybody remembers what they were doing, and everybody remembers what Neil Armstrong said just before he left the capsule and stepped onto the surface of the moon. He said: "Out of my way, Buzz!" Whack!

* According to a new poll, two-thirds of people in Colorado think it should be illegal to smoke marijuana in public, while the other one-third are still laughing at the word "poll."

* A 105-year-old women in San Diego threw out the first pitch in a baseball game. I think it's great to see Barbara Walters is still out there.  But anyway.  She pitched seven scoreless innings! And she's the only woman who slept with both Alex Rodriguez and Babe Ruth.

* In a recent interview, President Obama said Joe Biden "would be a superb president." In a related story, Hillary Clinton punched a hole in a door.

* The Chicago Cubs have filed a lawsuit against a man who got into a bar fight while unofficially dressed as the team's mascot. They could tell he wasn’t affiliated with the Cubs because he won.

* A judge wrote an opinion today in favor of Obamacare, saying that getting healthcare from the state or federal government is the same as ordering from Pizza Hut vs. Domino's. I’m not sure I agree. THEIR websites always worked

*  Queen Elizabeth's horse tested positive for morphine and a mix of other powerful drugs. Sources say the queen is in denial. She thinks someone confused her horse's urine sample with Prince Harry's. So remember, horses, when it comes to drugs, just say Neigh.

* Happy birthday to England's Prince George, who turned 1 yesterday. The prince’s first birthday party was a little different. His bouncy castle was an actual castle. And the pony rides were on Camilla.

* A professor from U.C. Berkeley said Californians are on track for having the worst drought in 500 years. Which explains why Larry King was overheard saying, "This again?"

* You can tell this drought is getting really bad. Last week, while in California, I was at lunch, my waiter asked if I wanted a glass of water or a future for my children. I took the water.

* I saw that Hillary Clinton visited the headquarters of Twitter and Facebook yesterday. Hillary would also have visited LinkedIn, but she already knows what job she wants.

* I just read about this student at MIT who's created a new robot that can play Connect Four. Yes, an emotionless machine that can occasionally sit down and play a board game with you, or as I called that growing up — my Dad.

* Even though both Israel and Hamas fired on one another during the five-hour humanitarian period the other day, the U.N. secretary general said both sides "mostly respected" the cease-fire. That's like leaving the house without pants and saying you're "mostly dressed."

* Today is the 30th anniversary of the National Minimum Drinking Age Act, which raised the drinking age to 21. Also turning 30 today: a 16-year-old boy, according to his fake ID.

* It's a great day for a man in Brazil. He's 126 and has been called the world's oldest person. He says the highlight of his life was playing goalie for Brazil in this year's World Cup.

Ththththat’s all, folks......

Saturday, July 26, 2014

Fridge Pics: Memes of the Week, 7/20 to 7/26, 2014


Friday, July 25, 2014

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: The Guardians Themselves: Jacob Chestnut,
John Gibson,
Stephen P. Johns,
and Leonardo Johnson

THE GUARDIANS THEMSELVES: Jacob Chestnut, John Gibson, Stephen T. Johns, And Leonardo Johnson

Note: the initial part of this essay was written in 2009.  The Capitol shootings it commemorates occurred 16 years ago yesterday.

Two millennia ago, the satirist Juvenal wrote of two men, prominent Romans, on a long trip away from the city. The first one lamented leaving his wife alone at home, as he feared she might not be faithful to him. The second boastfully stated that he had already provided for that difficulty by hiring a guardian to watch his wife and ensure proper behavior on her part. The first man looked at the second and laughed: "Who shall guard, then, the guardians themselves?"

That phrase (and a good one it is) raises the question of who can be entrusted with power.

But then, we must also take note of a second meaning to the phrase: who protects those who protect us?

Like most Americans, I usually view most public-security personnel as something between fixtures at best and annoying droids at worst. Who are these people who tell us to take our shoes off when we get into an aircraft? Why should I subject my computer to close inspection upon entering the federal building? Do I really need to empty the change from my pockets before I walk through the metal detector? And (my pet peeve) why should I take my belt off of my ill fitting suit to be able to walk into a courtroom?

Security guards are the bottom of the public safety totem pole. They don't get no respect. They don't go on adventures with cool equipment like soldiers; they don't have the glamor and babe-attraction qualities of cops. We usually ignore them. We often get annoyed at them. We decry their necessity as fundamentally anti-freedom.

And yet, once in a while, not often (thank God) we are given reason to remember them and be thankful that they're there. They're the white corpuscles of the public immune system, and sometimes, they go from fixture to hero, and we ask ourselves why we never appreciated them previously. Their heroism is instantaneous and comes and goes in a flash, and we ask ourselves why we never saw it before.

We never saw it before because they were the very definition of The Tattered Remnant: silent, dutiful, often bored, but ready to act in an instant when called for, and in so doing, showing the hidden gold within.


In the summer of 1998, I was working on Capitol Hill, in its grungiest, most out-of-the-way attic: the top floor of the "O'Neill House Office Building", located at 2nd and C Street, down the road a block from RNC Headquarters and well separated (like plague bacilli) from the rest of the Hill.

At the time, I had just graduated from law school, and was working for Subcommittee on the Census, helping (I thought) maintain a constitutional, head-count-derived census for the upcoming apportionment cycle and looking forward to a long, successful, money-making career as a Very Important Person.

The O'Neill Building was a dump. It was an ancient building, built originally as a hotel for Congressmen to stay in when they were in town (this was back the days of yore, before elected Members bought homes with mortgages in DC and their home districts). Later on, the building was bought by the House of Representatives outright to serve as extra office space, and to serve as a home for the high-school-aged Congressional Pages (who, I should add, were extremely well guarded and closely watched).

The offices of the Subcommittee on the Census was on the highest, and crappiest, floor of the building; the furniture we were provided looked like they came from an Anacostia garage sale. The Census Subcommittee was on its ten year cyclical uptick of staffing, as the 2000 Census was then fast approaching; but since it was only important two years a decade, they never got any decent diggings.

My office mates were an interesting crew. The Committee Chief was a sixtysomething demographics expert, a wizard well versed in the ancient and dark art of redistricting. His assistant was a porcine, sly, self-important, Machiavellian political operative whose self-opinion far exceeded any of his nominal talents.

The chief counsel--i.e., head lawyer--was the very attractive brunette wife of a senior GOP fundraiser; her assistant, a squat, ugly bottle-blonde with a foul mouth who I think was the model of J.K. Rowling's Dolores Umbridge. This woman owed her position to the fact that her older brother was high in the House staff leadership, working for Tom DeLay, The Hammer, then the third most powerful man in the House.

The mapmaker was a tightlipped, angular Boston Irishman, a true computer geek (in the best sense of the word) who did not say more than five words in the two years I knew him. Our press secretary was the sad soon-to-be-ex-wife of a prominent New York neoconservative scion whom I am sure you've heard of; her press assistant was an unnaturally handsome gladhander with a Sinatra fetish. There was a rotating stream of volunteers and interns, mostly young, blonde, and very pretty; one was a flower of New Orleans who we all called "Beeee-yeth."

Then there was myself, probably well out of my turbo-geek element, accepted in spite of all, with an overly long staff title and too little to do. But this was a good thing as it gave me the opportunity to study for the upcoming bar exam without too much difficulty.

Working on the Hill was cool. I got to shake Newt Gingrich's hand once, and later met Dennis Hastert. Important "Members" (the official title of sitting Congressmen, and the source of many a double-entendre) came in and out of our office every day and we learned to know them on sight. Occasionally major fund contributors would come into the office for High Level Meetings With The Honcho, to which I might occasionally be invited, if only to sit in and take notes.
I used to pat myself on my back for being in with such important people, the company of which I, in general, was unfit to unloosen their sandals.

I hardly gave the guys at the front door gate, whom I regarded as poor rentacops in cheesy uniforms, a second thought.

On July 24, 1998, I was at home, preparing for the bar exam, which was only six days off; it was not going well. I was desperately reviewing my very expensive and overpriced Bar Bri Bar Review Materials, and trying to memorize the difference between the Rule Against Perpetuities and The Rule in Shelly's Case (neither of which, BTW, I have ever had occasion to use once in the course of my legal career).

At about 3:45 in the afternoon, and suddenly, without warning, I felt my heart race. Something was wrong. Something had just popped up... and I didn't know what it was. I walked outside. I walked back in. I called my wife on her cel phone, to make sure she was alright (she was). I called my mom–ditto. I went inside again, sat in front of my Windows 3.1, DOS-driven computer with the Laserjet III printer and the $2000 scanner, and stared at it, playing with two floppy disks.

I couldn't concentrate. I couldn't work. Something was wrong.

I turned on the radio, which I kept tuned to WTOP-FM, the All-News, All-the-Time Talk Radio Station.

"Shooting at the Capitol!" the voice shouted. "The Capitol Building and all Capitol Hill buildings on the House Side have been shut down following a shooting on the grounds. At least one is dead, two wounded. Stay tuned to WTOP for this developing story!"

It appears that a man suffering from paranoid schizophrenia thought that he needed to express his opinion to the individuals behind the voices in his head. Driving straight through from Montana to Washington in a day and a half, he tried to enter the Capitol Building's main structure through the Documents Entrance, a staff-only entrance on street level. On entering, when asked to walk through a metal detector, he immediately drew a weapon and shot Capitol Police Officer Jacob Chestnut, a twenty year veteran of the force. He died instantly. The man then charged for the nearest official looking corridor on the first floor.

He chose the main office area for the Majority Leadership of the House. The exact door he barged through was that of the Majority Whip, Tom DeLay.

There he met Detective John Gibson, whose gun was already drawn.

They exchanged pistol fire. The man put multiple rounds into Detective Gibson, wounding him fatally but not instantly. Gibson responded, hitting his target with every round, gravely wounding the gunman and rendering him (as they say) "ineffective." The shooting was over in less than a minute.

Officer Chestnut gave his life with practically no warning or preparation. However, his life was not lost in vain. The sounds of the shots that killed him gave Gibson an opportunity to draw and charge his weapon, so when the man entered into his area, he was able to respond instantly. He disabled the shooter, and subsequently died of his wounds.

Behind the main door guarded by Detective Gibson were Whip DeLay and a dozen or so staffers, who, following proper procedure, dropped behind their desks to avoid being targets. None were hurt. Among those dozen was the elder brother of the gal who worked in my office.

It was like 9/11 in the sense that it was one of those moments where the ordinary are revealed to be extraordinary. The security people, Capitol policemen, and others responsible for maintaining security went from zeroes (in the estimation of those working on the Hill) to heroes overnight.

Jacob Chestnut and John Gibson lay "in honor" (not "in state", but practically the same thing) in the Capitol Rotunda, a gesture never before given to the non elected. Furthermore, Jacob Chestnut was the first African American to be granted this privilege.

The day of the funeral, thousands of people, including yours truly plus almost all of those working on the Hill at the time, stood at attention as the motorcade drove their flag-wrapped coffins from the Capitol to Arlington National Cemetery, where they were buried with military honors.

I certainly never met Detective Gibson; he was assigned to the VIP detail and the area he worked I only entered once, long after the incident. On the other hand, I am sure I probably saw Officer Chestnut at the O'Neill on one occasion or another. However, I don't remember having done so. So much the worse for me.

The shooter was never charged; a mad man, he was consigned for life to a Federal facility for the criminally insane. He remains there to this day. This is justice; paranoid schizophrenia I would not wish on my worst enemy. Let him never be free, but let him not be punished.


I look back now, lo! these ten years later, with wonder.

They're all gone, now.

All those Very Important Persons ... all the powerful I knew ... dust in the wind.

Newt Gingrich and Dennis Hastert are "former Speakers." Tom DeLay was hammered himself, having been convicted of several political felonies.

Our subcommittee chief was forced out after Newt Gingrich's resignation as Speaker. His assistant, who engineered his removal, found himself back in the pack of the House staff, denied his former boss's job. He haunts the Hill to this day, ineffective in the minority, still waiting for a second chance that will probably never come. (Engineering your boss's downfall tends to discourage future bosses from trusting you.)

The fundraising husband of our chief counsel was convicted and sent to prison because of his connection to the Jack Abramoff scandals. The brother of her assistant, he who hid in Tom DeLay's office during the shootings, was also convicted in connection with Abramoff and as of this writing awaits sentencing. Both ladies are gone as well. Nobody loves you when you're down and out.

Last I heard, only Beeee-yeth survives and thrives on the Hill; she now walks the Corridors of the Powers that Be at the RNC Headquarters a block away from our old haunts.

Oh, yes, and somewhere in there I lost my Hill job too. (Cue best Ms. Piggy falsetto: "Bit-ter? Moi?")

Even the O'Neill House Office Building is gone; it was demolished in 2002. They paved Paradise and put up a parking lot.

Sic transit gloria mundi–-

Today, it's all Democrats, all the time, on Capitol Hill. All of them are so important, now, you know. Things will never change. They'll always be in power, now, and forever, amen.



Yet somewhere in a quiet spot near the Documents Entrance of the House of Representatives there stands a plaque, in memory of two quiet heroes, Tattered Remnants who gave their lives for those far less worthy of honor than they are.


Forgive me for leaving Mr. Johns as almost an afterthought. He deserves better.

Let me say this of his sacrifice, which was much like Gibson's and Chestnut's.

On June 12, 2009, an evil old man, a black-hearted racist and Jew-hater of the lowest sort, tried to invade the United States Holocaust Museum. (I forget his name.) My guess is that the man, who was 88, decided to commit 'suicide by cop'. He brought a rifle to the front foyer of the Museum and tried to blast his way inside.

The shooter was met straight up by a half-dozen security personnel. He shot and killed Stephen Tyrone Johns before the other guards (who were, alas that it is needful, heavily armed) responded and shot the man, disarming him. The man survived and was held in prison until his death in 2010.

Stephen Tyrone Johns died later at a hospital. He was 38, and left behind a wife and son.

Like Gibson and Chestnut, he gave his life for the peace and good order of the United States, protecting a building that has become, of its own, a shrine worthy of the highest respect. And like Chestnut, his sacrifice allowed his comrades-in-arms to bring this armed invader down before he was able to harm a visitor.


A much happier outcome occurred with regard to a similar incident on August 15, 2012, when a self-proclaimed gay activist invaded the headquarters of the Family Research Council, armed with two pistols. His explicit mission was to kill supporters of traditional marriage. He was met by security guard Leonardo Johnson, whom he shot; Johnson, wounded in the arm, tackled the gunman, and held him until police arrived. The gunman was eventually sentenced to 25 years in a federal prison for committing an act of terrorism and other crimes.

Nobody else was harmed that day.

Leonardo Johnson was honored on October 22, 2012, with the DC Mayor's Medal of Honor, the first recipient of such an award.

I know nothing about Mr. Johnson, except this: he was and is to be saluted. Silently doing a boring job and then instantly springing to life as a hero: the very essence of the Tattered Remnant.

What can one say?

Thank you, Leonardo Johnson.

Thank you, Stephen Tyrone Johns.

Thank you, Jacob Chestnut and John Gibson.

And thank you to everyone who has ever stood on their feet for an eight hour watch while being sneered at by the muggles that they protect.

Thursday, July 24, 2014

Extracts from the Little-Read Book: Chapter 007

Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* You say that Muslims are the greatest killers? Hardly. Not this past century. Get into a Tardis, and shut down the following.... Auschwitz, Dachau, Birkinau, Majdanek, Treblinka, the GULag, the Laogai, the killing fields of Cambodia, the execution squads of Cuba, Tito's socialist thugs, Milosevic's nationalist socialists, Kermit Gosnell, Planned Parenthood, those in charge of China's one-child policy, Leopold II's Congo, .... in other words, the people responsible for 95%+ of the horrors of the last 100 years were Communists; the 5%, Christian. Muslims statistically are a blip on the screen. Keep things in perspective!

* It is better for a people to have bad self-rule than to be governed with no say.

* "Rino" is the n-word of GOP politics. The preferred term is "indispensable ally." Because they are.

* 'Insane leftists FTW'! This anti-Hobby Lobby protest sign takes the crazy cake [pics] ( These protestors are not idiots. They're smart enough to know exactly what they are saying. Thus they are fully morally culpable for the murderous consequences of what they do. It's like they're waving signs saying "More Jews to the chambers!" (Of course, the Gaza protestors are saying that directly anyway....)

* When I hear the word "pistol" I reach for my culture.

* It IS possible to live your life blissfully unaware of Sauron. But if you find the Ring in your pocketses, you don't get to stay for life at the Birthday Party. You have to do something.

* It sez here that "Walker Would Win Re-Election If Vote Held Now" ( I'd like to know if he'd be elected President in 2016. Preferably through empirical observation.

* The availability of college to the general populace was the lion's share of America's victory in WW2. The GI Bill was the best thing since Emancipation.

* It sez here: "Lesbian couples more likely to divorce" ( This cannot be true. And yet it doesn't surprise me a bit.

* America.... from Shirley Temple to Honey Boo Boo. Sigh. What happened?

* Ben Carson? For President? That's like saying "Our team is now in the World Series, and we don't have a designated hitter. Let's put Fred in! He loves baseball and talks a good game!"

* Deo Vindice? God DID vindicate the slaves over their oppressors. Thanks to others who wore the uniform of the United States. The Confederacy didn't get half the crushing it deserved.

* It sez here that "Why UPS Trucks Don't Turn Left" ( Imagine how much freer we would be, less burdened by debt, if the Congress had adopted this policy in 1972.....

* Fumi-e ( An interesting old Japanese custom. But it can't happen here, can it?

Can it?

More Tuesday.

Wednesday, July 23, 2014

Kim Jong Un Cuts A Rug

     "The devil . . . that prowde spirit . . . cannot endure to be mocked."

                                             - Thomas More

He's like the fat kid playing Star Wars in his basement.... except he has a secret police force to rival Hitler's.

And the Chinese hacker that made the film is a genius. His life however is not worth a plugged nickel at this point.

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Love letters With Blue Cross



Dear Mr. Kent: 
Your insurance is illegal under Obamacare. Cancelled. Sorry.

Dear Mr. Kent:
Here is your new insurance. Premiums are now 60% higher than last month and your deductible just tripled. Sorry.

Dear Mr. Kent:
Congratulations for your wife's successful navigation of the Obamacare web site. Your premiums have dropped 70%. However, we are resetting your deductible to zero and you won't see any gains until July. Sorry.

Dear Mr. Kent:
This is to inform you that Mr. Obama's ex cathedra declaration that you are eligible for Obamacare subsidies were found to be legal bullshit by the DC Appellate Court. Therefore we are resetting your premiums to their previous level and resetting your deductible to zero and backbilling you for the subsidies illegally given you this year. Oh, that drug that you depend on to stay alive? No longer covered. Sorry.

Dear Mr. Kent:
Allow me to invite you to vote Democrat in the upcoming election primaries.
The Democratic Party of Macomb County.

Dear Democratic Party of Macomb County:
Why don't you take a flying fuck at a rolling donut? WHY DON'T YOU TAKE A FLYING FUCK AT THE MOOOOOOOON?????????
Richard L. Kent, Esq.

Extracts from The Little-Read Book: Chapter 006

Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* I would LOVE for Michelle Obama to have a public service job paying her $319,000 a year. RIGHT. NOW. .... And her husband in the office across the hall.

* "An armed society is a polite society" really means it'll be a death sentence to be rude. I'll pass. (I love Heinlein but on this subject he was tetched in the head.)

* Carbon swaps = sale of indulgences. That is all.

* If you have a reason to crap on ANY religion then lose the reason and start to use YOUR reason. God is not the private property of ANY faith. Hundreds of millions of people see God through the Islamic lens WITHOUT flying airplanes into buildings or mutilating women.

* Hillary won't run. What we'll get is Andrew Cuomo. Or possibly Warren (aka Fauxohontas).

* We create our sexual identity? Bullshit, little Eva. Sexual identity is irrevocably assigned to us by our loving Creator at the moment sperm meets eggs. That miotic dance gives us two possible combinations of genes (XX, XY) from that moment. Sexual assignment is immutable from the instant a person is created. Any other perception is insane--and the idea that "gender" is "mutable" is as insane as the believe that one can will oneself to be an automobile transmission. And anyone who thinks God "doesn't make mistakes" has never seen or cared for an infant with major birth defects.

*  Many of today's popular scientific opinions--AGW, the cultural basis of sexuality, same-sex "marriage"--were clearly derived with the assistance of a proctologist with a flashlight.

* A single human life--which includes every human fetus--is worth far more than every mammal in the universe. That includes you. That should be a source of comfort and joy.

* I can easily imagine "Immigration Court" being turned into "Loyalty Court." Very easily. Very soon.

* I know the hard left thinks that Israel si a problem. And as regards Israel, I am sure the hard left can and will come up with a final solution to the problem.  It won't be the first time.

* What will they give Clinton? The piece prize?

* It sez here: "Google submits 1,928 pages arguing for a trademark of the word 'Glass'". Clearly, this was a brief written by a law firm being paid in full and by the hour by Google. Great work ... if you can get it.

* I generally try not to complement women on their pregnancy until they're in labor. Not because I'm anti pregnancy (quite the opposite) but because I'm pro-my-own-kneecaps.

* Eventually to be prolife will be to be a traitor. And not in the distant future, either.

More Thursday.

Monday, July 21, 2014


Ladies 'n' Germs, Mr. GREG SCHANKIN!

Actually this isn't Greg's, but from an anonymous Email I got this week, but hell, it's pretty funny, and I don't think he'll mind..... :)

* You know that stuff they make the indestructible black boxes out of? Why don't they make the entire plane out of it?

* If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how will anyone ever know?

* Why do kamikaze pilots wear helmets? And why do they give alcohol swabs to guys they're about to give a lethal injection to?

* If you strangled a smurf, what color would it turn?

* Why is the word 'dictionary' in the dictionary? Don't they figure that if you're looking in a dictionary, you probably know what a dictionary is?

* If you have 50 odds and ends on a shelf, and you break 49 of them, are you left with an odd or an end?

* If a mime swears, does his mother wash his hands with soap?

* Why do they call them apartments if they're so close together?

* Why do people who know the least, know it the loudest?

* Whatever happened to Preparations A through G?

* Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

* Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

* If psychics can tell you what the winning lottery numbers will be, why are they still working?

* Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

* Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?

* If nothing ever sticks to teflon, how do they make teflon stick to the pan?

* If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then is Congress the opposite of progress? [RLK here: Yes, and a damn good thing, too!]

* Am I the only one who's concerned that what a doctor does to us is called his 'practice'?

* Why is lemon juice mostly artificial ingredients, while dish washing detergent contains real lemons?

* Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

Ththththtat's all folks......

Sunday, July 20, 2014

In Honor of Obama's Manned Space Program

Ladies and Germs,
The Apollo 0 patch.

July 20, 1969: "We Came In Peace"

ADDENDUM: And lest we forget the sacrifice that made it possible:


From Mark Davis:

"Fate has ordained that the men who went to the moon to explore in peace will stay on the moon to rest in peace. These brave men, Neil Armstrong and Edwin Aldrin, know that there is no hope for their recovery. But they also know that there is hope for mankind in their sacrifice.

"These two men are laying down their lives in mankind's most noble goal: the search for truth and understanding. They will be mourned by their families and friends; they will be mourned by their nation; they will be mourned by the people of the world; they will be mourned by a Mother Earth that dared send two of her sons into the unknown.

"In their exploration, they stirred the people of the world to feel as one; in their sacrifice, they bind more tightly the brotherhood of man.

"In ancient days, men looked at stars and saw their heroes in the constellations. In modern times, we do much the same – but our heroes are epic men of flesh and blood.

"Others will follow, and surely find their way home. Man's search will not be denied. But these men were the first, and they will remain the foremost in our hearts. For every human being who looks up at the moon in the nights to come will know that there is some corner of another world that is forever mankind."

- From The "Lunar Disaster" Speech Prepared for The President By William Safire, in the event of a failure to launch for the return home, July 18, 1969

REPOST: TR #016:
Hermann Henning von Tresckow
And The July 20 Plotters

This is a repost of one of my Tattered Remnants essays. Herman Henning von Treskow organized the July 20 bombing incident--which happened exactly 70 years ago today. He and more than 5000 others died as a result.


A perceptive reader will see that, in this section on the attempt to stop Hitler on July 20, 1944, the lead name given above is not that of Colonel Klaus Schenck von Stauffenberg, the would-be assassin and the planter of the bomb on July 20, 1944, and who led the coup attempt against Hitler.

This is deliberate. It is not, however, a slight intended toward the celebrated von Stauffenberg, whose name shines like a beacon in the darkest of human times. This series, however, is devoted to those who are, in general, less famous, but who were among the Righteous--that is, the Remnant--and acted in the best possible way under the most difficult circumstances.

(I also would like to think that Colonel Stauffenberg, who I understand had quite a sense of humor in private, would agree that having Tom Cruise pretending to be Tom Cruise playing oneself in the movie Valkyrie is probably honor enough for one century.)

While Von Stauffenberg was the driving force behind the assassination and the coup attempt that July afternoon, he was by no means its guiding spirit or its founding father. That honor goes to a man largely forgotten to any not well versed in the finer history of the era: Major General Herrmann Karl Robert Henning von Tresckow. And it is his story that will stand for all those who, for the sake of honor and justice, wanted to end the war quickly, sparing Europe the final agony of the conquest of the Nazi state that took place from June 1944 to May 1945.

* * *

If praising a traitor, as I have in my entry above for Richard Sorge, is morally dangerous, then praising assassins is even more so. Even if the target is the arch-enemy of the entire world.

I want to make clear that I am not advocating assassination as a means of settling any problem. It is both evil and ineffective. It must be stated up front that the political assassination of a high national personage never improves anything. No matter how horrific a nation's condition, it seems that the assassination of an evil king or other abominable leader always, always, makes things worse.

One has to go back to Roman history to find an example where killing of the evil king improves the situation: perhaps the only one was the death of Roman emperor Gaius (remembered to history by his nickname Caligula, or "Bootsie").

And that's it. Even the murder of Commodus two hundred years later, though well deserved by Commodus himself, still led to a century of mad, bad, incompetent and short-lived Emperors.

But in every other example, assassination always, always brings horror and chaos in its wake, no matter how well intentioned the plotters or evil the king. The actors can call it tyrannicide if they want; it doesn't change the fact that it is also regicide, the most profound sin possible for a Christian and civilized people. One must ask as Christ did: what doth a man gain if you gain the whole world then lose your soul?

* * * *

And yet. It should also be noted that a thorough review of the events of July 20, 1944, shows that even had they succeeded, the assassins of Hitler must be numbered among those who would have made things worse, had they truly succeeded in killing him.

To begin with, Germany had commenced its love affair with the National Socialists in the 1920s because of the Dolchstosslegende, the "Legend of the Stab in the Back." Put succinctly, there was a very widespread perception in Germany that the defeat of the Empire in the First World War was due to betrayal at home–the "Stab in the Back"–and that the politicians and the folks back home had betrayed the soldiers at the front by overthrowing the Kaiser. Furthermore, the perception (not reality!) that those who overthrew the empire were supposedly Jews gave a gloss of legitimacy to those who would try to destroy the Jewish people out of a misplaced sense of "revenge."

While there was no real truth to this legende, the reality was that the majority of Germans believed it: and had the government of Hitler been replaced by conspirators who had assassinated him, the result would have been bloody, confused chaos. The coup-leaders would have been seen as a new Stab In The Back. Any attempt by the conspirators to end the war immediately would probably have led to a larger scale countercoup by Nazi loyalists which likely would have ended precisely as occurred historically; it simply would have taken longer and taken even more lives than died in reality.

In the end, a Nazi Germany without Hitler would have quickly become Nazi Germany ruled by Himmler or Goering: clearly, no improvement whatsoever, and probably would have required, in the end, precisely the same degree of effort, sacrifice and bloodshed to bring about unconditional surrender as occurred historically.

Secondly, even had they succeeded in ending the war, Germany would have remained a coiled serpent whose back remained unbroken and that may simply have waited until the coming of the next Fuehrer. The God of Battles and of History (yes, the same God that created the universe and flowers and baby bunny rabbits) likely required the total destruction of the Nazi German state and its replacement by an entirely new structure to pacify and completely civilize Germany.

And that is what finally came to pass. Germany is now a nation that has aged out its Nazi generation and which has rejoined, thank God, the ranks of civilized nations.

So the July 20 plotters, as they came to be known, were doomed from the start. Even if they succeeded in killing Hitler they were almost certain to have failed.

While one can criticize their wisdom, or their execution of the coup itself, one can, at least, recognize the nobility and righteousness of those who tried, for they were, too, Tattered Remants of civilization in a nation gone well and truly mad.

* * * *

In some ways it is hard to praise Hermann Henning von Tresckow. He played a key role, for example, in the destruction of the Third Republic of France and the Nazi German pinnacle of 1940.

When, in 1939, Erich von Manstein presented his plan to conquer France by means of an armored strike through the Ardennes Forest, the plan was rejected by the highest generals as too bold, too dangerous. Von Tresckow heard of it, and through an old school mate, bypassed the Army High Command and got the plan directly before Hitler.

The result was a crushing success for the German army and the total defeat, at the time, for the Western Allies. It also convinced Hitler of his own wisdom and divinity and led to more and more extreme measures against both the enemies of Germany abroad and those perceived within Germany as 'disloyal.' The man with that on his conscience had a great deal to answer for.

Furthermore, Henning von Tresckow played an active role in the German military and, trapped by his officer's oath of loyalty to Hitler personally, was constrained to implement Hitler's military orders and do all within his capabilities to bring about the conquest of those nations that Hitler named as enemies.

Henning von Tresckow, however, like Oskar Schindler, had an epiphany. At first, it was his disgust, in 1938, at Krystallnacht and the systematic looting of Jewish businesses; later, after SS atrocities early in the war in Poland in 1939; he was shocked that only one general had the courage to confront Hitler about the needless bloodshed there--and was outraged that Hitler mocked the rebuke as "childish."

As the war progressed, he became more and more convinced that justice and morality required the destruction of Hitler's regime. He began by taking advantage of a side effect of his role in the fall of the Western Allies noted above. He became in the German Army what modern Army slang calls a 'waterwalker'; his reputation and weight was such that his recommendation for certain individuals for political postings were a golden ticket to appointments. He began to use his influence to obtain strategic job placements for sympathetic people, which bore fruit on July 20.

Again, the source of all wisdom, Wikipedia:

As the chief operations officer(1a) of Army Group Center, he systematically placed officers who shared his views in key positions. They included Lieutenant Colonel Georg Schulze-Büttger, Colonel Rudolf Christoph Freiherr von Gersdorff, Major Carl-Hans Graf von Hardenberg, Lieutenant Heinrich Graf von Lehndorff-Steinort, Lieutenant Fabian von Schlabrendorff, Lieutenant Philipp von Boeselager and his brother Georg von Boeselager, Lieutenant Colonel Hans-Alexander von Voss and Lieutenant Colonel Berndt von Kleist among others, many of them from Tresckow's old Infantry Regiment 9. The headquarters of Army Group Center thus emerged as the new nerve center of Army resistance.

At the end of September 1941, Tresckow sent his special operations officer Schlabrendorff to Berlin to contact opposition groups and declare that the staff of Army Group Center was "prepared to do anything."

This approach, made at the height of German expansion and nadir of anti-Hitler opposition, represented the first initiative to come from the front and from Army at all as Ulrich von Hassell noted in his diary. Schlabrendorff continued to serve as liaison between Army Group Center and oppostion circle around General Ludwig Beck, Carl Friedrich Goerdeler and Colonel Hans Oster, the deputy head of Abwehr (German military intelligence) who was involved in 1938 coup attempt against Hitler (Oster Conspiracy).

When Oster recruited General Friedrich Olbricht, head of the General Army Office headquarter in 1942, linking this asset to Tresckow's resistance group in Army Group Centre created a viable coup apparatus.
Henning von Treschkow's first attempt to strike at Hitler went awry due to purely technical reasons: the bomb which he personally placed on the Fuhrer's transport aircraft at Smolensk in 1943 did not detonate, probably because it was stowed in an unheated cargo hold.

In the aftermath, he recruited Colonel von Stauffenberg, who, having himself survived horrific combat injuries (he lost his left eye, right hand, and two fingers from his other hand in fighting in North Africa) became the driving force for the actual assassination thereafter, and who, due to his wounds, was held in the highest esteem by Hitler himself and had direct access to him.

Shortly before the planned coup, Hermann Henning von Tresckow was transferred back to the Eastern Front, where he became Chief of Staff for the Second Army in Russia. From that distant posting, it became impossible for him to play a further central role in the conspiracy, and command of the plotters in Berlin was taken by Stauffenberg.

Stauffenberg, before acting, required proof that his work would have even a nominal chance that the strike would work, as the justification for tyrannicide he used--that found in the writings of Thomas Aquinas--required that there be some possibility of success. Henning von Tresckow had no such need or hope. In many ways he was like the Schöll siblings, whom I have written about previously. As they stood up so that future generations would know that not all of Germany was evil, so did he. Hermann Henning von Tresckow, however, unlike those brave youths, had tools available to him somewhat more effective than flyers dropped at a university.

For him, success and failure was not so important as the fact that he simply acted:

The assassination must be attempted at all costs. Even if it should not succeed, an attempt to seize power in Berlin must be made. What matters now is no longer the practical purpose of the coup, but to prove to the world and for the records of history that the men of the resistance dared to take the decisive step. Compared to this objective, nothing else is of consequence.
He was no fool. He knew the chance of success was almost nil. To him, however, he had to transmit the message to the rest of the world and to future generations: "Not all of us were like him" (Hitler). Some men and women of the Nazizeit were still men and women of honor, justice, and courage, who chose to stand against Hitler even if it meant the ends of their lives.
When news came to him of the assassination attempt and its failure, he became clear to him that it was now necessary for him to take his own life, to prevent his giving up the names of his fellow conspirators under the torture which would inevitably result of his arrest. He spent his final hour speaking with his aide-de-camp, saying

God promised Abraham that He would not destroy Sodom if just ten righteous men could be found in the city, and so I hope that for our sake God will not destroy Germany. No one among us can complain about his death, for whoever joined our ranks put on the shirt of Nessus. A man's moral worth is established only at the point where he is ready to give up his life in defense of his convictions.
These ten righteous men referred to are clearly the Remnant, and it was as one of these he gave his life. The Shirt of Nessus referred to here is the cloak given Herakles; poisoned, it drove him mad and caused him to leap on a pyre to his death.

In order to create an illusion that his death was by combat, on July 21, 1944, Hermann Henning von Treschkow went into the Belarussian woods near Bialystok and fired his pistol into the air several times, and then held a grenade to his neck.

Suicide is not painless, and it is clearly forbidden to Christians. However, I prefer to think that this man did not take his own life but gave it so that others might live.

As it developed, his trick worked and most of the Germans near him were fooled; thinking he had been killed by Soviet partisans, his body was respectfully returned to his estate and it was buried near his parents' graves.

The Gestapo eventually learned of his central role in the conspiracy and arrested his wife and children under Himmler's Sippenhaft (kin-guilt) policy. His wife was imprisoned until the end of the war and the children scattered and adopted under new names.

As for himself, the SS exhumed his body, shipping it to Sachsenhausen death camp where it was cremated before his horrified aide-de-camp who was forced to witness it as interrogation.

His cremation at such a place reminds one of the burial of Colonel Robert Gould Shaw of the all-black 54th Massachusetts Infantry during the Civil War. When Colonel Shaw was killed on the assault on Fort Wagner, Confederate soldiers deliberately buried him with his black soldiers, intending to denigrate him by doing so. After the war, Colonel Shaw's parents chose to allow his remains to stay buried with his men, as that was what he would have wanted.

So with Herrmann Karl Robert Henning von Tresckow. His ashes lie mingled with the now-honored victims of the Reich at Sachsenhausen.

No more glorious monument could be imagined for this righteous man.

Saturday, July 19, 2014

Fridge Pics: Memes of the Week, 7/13 - 7/19, 2014

Friday, July 18, 2014


The immigration article scheduled to appear today? We're still working on it.....

In the mean time, in celebration of a week of immigration law practice.....we offer THIS gem from Uncle Frank, 1992.

I think I will now go have me a beers.

Thursday, July 17, 2014

Netherlands to Pay Damages to Srebrenica Victims

It says here that the Royal Netherlands Government hass been found liable for the deaths of 300 victims of the Srebrenica massacre, because their "DUTCHBAT" (Dutch battalion) did not protect the Bosnian Muslims under their "protection" when the city fell in 1995, leading to the genocide of the men in that city.

This is a hard one for me. On the one hand, my position on Srebrenica is well known and can be found here on my blog: the Bosnian Serbs, a catspaw for the nationalist-communists in Belgrade, committed genocide in Srebrenica when they killed the men they captured execution-style. (Those unarmed men they killed while they were fleeing, about 2000 or so, are a bit more problematic, but never mind.)

Nevertheless, it was a planned operation; it wasn't an orgy of murder and the sack of a city, but a calculated decision taken at the highest levels of the Serb governments (Serbia and Republika Srpska) fighting in Bosnia at the time.

I also think the behavior of DUTCHBAT, the peacekeepers guarding those people, was utterly shameful. They should have died honorably with the people they were guarding instead of acting like King Arthur and the Kniggits of the Round Table encountering the rabbit.

 But does the Government of the Netherlands owe money for their deaths? I don't know about that. I am very fond of the idea of personal and direct responsibility: the Serb V Army ("Drina Corps") carried out the deed at the orders of the Srpska government. THEY are the ones responsible. If the Dutch governnment, under Dutch law, are now to pay money for the failure of the Dutchbat to defend them, I suppose that's lawful.

But I'd rather see the entire Srpska government (that part of Bosnia now under Serb control) as well as Serbia itself be forced to pay heavy restitution both to the victims and their families and to the rest of Bosnia for the stupid, evil and unnecessary war they started.

But that ain't gonna happen. Alas.

My Bosnian FB friends might have more to say (they know who they are). I'll sum this up in short: It's some justice, but not enough. Not. nearly. enough.


Extracts from The Little-Read Book: Chapter 005

Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* The Lamestream Media’s Modus Operandi is as follows:

1. Slaps horsecrap on a dish.

2. Sticks in microwave.

3. Shoves before you, gives you spoon, and tells you to eat it....

4. If you object, you're a right wing ideologue.

5. Your are expected to take them at face value, then OBEY.

* I've heard many in the burbs say "I've never crossed Eight Mile!" like it's something to be proud of. It isn't. I'm one of those damn suburbanites, and the reason Detroit sucks (and it does) IS because we stay out of it. Detroit has turned into a racist cesspool with a deep trench dug in EVERYONE's heart. If you think the problem is just "those people," think again.

* Bill Clinton (to quote Alice Roosevelt Longworth on Harding) wasn't a bad man, he was just a slob.

* You say I show a "prideful arrogance"? In other words a I show an insuperable wall of argument you can't overcome through guilt?

* It sez here: "Had Enough Of This Sh*t" Voters Prepare To Sweep Dems From Power In November" ( And if we don't succeed? What do you plan to do? We are very near replacing the elephant and the donkey with the pitchfork and torch.

* Words of wisdom to live by:





* Truthteller. When I see the words "Bilderbergers" or "Rothschilds" or some other conspiracy bullshit, my tinfoil-hat detector pegs hard to the right.

* And if you believe as a source, are you willing to buy this wonderful new bridge I'm selling? It's in Brooklyn.

* It sez here: "Holder: We want to explore gun tracking bracelets" ( Oh, and UPS codes on our hands and foreheads.... I'm sure he doesn't. GPS implanted chips in the buttocks work just as well and are far cheaper.

* I was sent to Bosnia because President Clinton wanted to get reelected. He was on the phone with a Congressman, talking about Bosnia, while he got the full Monica. It was still worth while.

* They don't have to nuke all our cities to screw us. Just hit Norfolk VA at Christmas: last year I saw a real cool picture of thirteen flattops in a row (five fleet carriers--CVNs--and seven copter/landing craft for Marine escort forces). One nuke. Goodbye. (And not even a particularly powerful nuke: the suitcase variety would do the job.)

* It sez here: Report: Putin Nominated for Nobel Peace Prize I remember that Tom Lehrer quit playing the piano after Kissinger got the peace prize. He said that 'parody is now obsolete.'

* "Fiat Chrysler Automotive". In Italian, the word "Chrysler" is silent. (It was silent in German, too.)

Wednesday, July 16, 2014

My Son Receives
Major Award
for Autism Courage!

I have a bit of an announcement to make. Please bear with me.

Hockey fans among us will remember Ted Lindsay, who--with Gordy Howe--formed the core of the great Detroit hockey teams of the 40s and 50s. He later became General Manager of the Detroit Red Wings and, as of last year, the NHL's MVP Award was renamed in his honor. He is still with us, aged 89.

What is not so well known is that these l...ast few years he has taken a personal interest both in the challenges faced by autistic children and by their families, donating millions of dollars to the Ted Lindsay Foundation to that end.

We have just received word that the Ted Lindsay Foundation has chosen to bestow the Ted Lindsay Courage Award on my oldest son William Joseph Kent. It carries with it a highly prestigious award trophy, a dinner where he will be honored, and a cash award to further his education.

I'm stunned (especially after I almost hung up on the caller with the news, thinking it was a begging call! ).

Congratulations, my son. Congratulations.

RERUN: The American Eagle

This first appeared on October 11, 2011. I'm rerunning it now because its, um, topical. It doesn't discuss the current crisis, obviously; I'll address that in Part II (in preparation) on Friday. RLK.

(Or: ♪♪What are going to do about Maria ....?♪♪ And Jose?)

[A note to the reader: you will encounter random line breaks in the following. I'm trying to stomp them all out, but every time I do, BLOGGER's editor adds new ones. Please bear with me.]

As you may know, I'm run an immigration law office. A very small, one-guy immigration law office. Just me. No partners. No secretary. No staff.

I specialize in family immigration and immigration defense: I file papers to bring people over legally. I also help defend those who have already entered legally and have gotten into trouble with the law. (You can lose your green card and be deported for any of a VERY long list of relatively minor crimes, you know.)

So: Do I help EEELEGUL ALIENS? That's like asking a criminal attorney if he "helps the guilty." If my client is truly EEELEGUL I can't do anything for him....

But. Being an immigration attorney is hard to explain in some circles, particularly among some of my fellow conservatives, or so-called conservatives.

There are those who think that I cannot possibly be a "true Conservative" if I "help them EEEVIL EEELEGUL ALIENS WHO ARE TAKING OVER OUR COUNTRY." (Sic.) (Oh so very much.)

I'm posting a conversation I recently held on Facebook between my good self, and two other individuals, "Joe Sixpack" and "Jay Random," neither of whom were known to me at the time of the conversation. I've changed their names to protect the guilty.

I'm posting it in full as-is here because this illustrates, in a microcosm, of the great divide in the Conservative/GOP/Tea Party movement. While all Tea Party supporters are united in opposing the Obammunists and wanting economic freedom restored to this country, we're split between those who want NO AMNESTY AND WANT EVERY GODDAM EEELEGUL TO GET SENT HOME NOW ....and those who don't.

The precise subject of the day was a discussion a friend of mine was hosting on FB: "Does ANYBODY out there find ANYTHING they agree with Obama about?" We join the
conversation in progress. I've made certain spelling corrections and deleted certain expletives, but what follows is an accurate representation of the debate.


· RLK: ....the only thing, the ONLY thing I support Obama on is --whisper it-- *amnesty*. We're never, EVER going to round the illegals up and send them in boxcars-to-the-borders. We will never treat the illegals like the Babylonians did the Israelites. They're here, so we'd better combine amnesty with assimilation. AND YES, CLOSE THE SOUTHERN BORDER....

· Jay Random: If the border were locked down first I wouldn't have a problem with conversion of the illegals caught inside. Give them six months after the fence is built to apply for citizenship and if we find an illegal after six months who hasn't applied they get booted out. If that counts as supporting Obama on something then I guess I'm guilty too.

· Joe Sixpack: Tried that in 1986. it brought the flood. Amnesty of any kind will bring 3 times as many more for us to deal with.

· Jay Random: Joe They didn't have the border locked down in 1986. That's a very important step Before granting amnesty.

· Joe: NO [EXPLETIVEDELETED] AMNESTY... Not now, not ever... You have NO clue what you're talking about.

· Jay Random: Joe Well one of us doesn't know what their talking about, I'll grant you that part of your assertion.

· RLK: Tried that in 1986. it brought the flood. >> You have read it completely wrong. We lost control of the borders in 1991. 1991 is 18 years after Roe v. Wade, when as a result of which our graduating high school classes dropped nationwide by 33 to 45% overnight.

· RLK: Whence the illegal alien problem? Abortion. Incoming illegals are about 50% of each years' missing cohort. Check the demographics. (Fact is, everyone in America who ever got an abortion got an "amnesty"--for killing their unborn.)

· RLK: @Joe: I am an immigration attorney--a conservative, tea-party-supporting, pro-Palin, pro-life immigration attorney. And I used to work [as a
GOP staffer for] for the House Subcommittee on the Census where I learned demographics at political gunpoint. Not only do I know what I am talking about, I
daresay I know far more than most on the subject.

· RLK: We will NEVER round 'em up and send 'em home. We will NEVER 'turn the screws and make 'em leave.' They're here. They're staying here. We better Americanize them [before it is too late].

· Joe: I frankly don't care what your qualifications are, where you worked, or what your degree is in... If you really think allowing illegals to just become citizens is a good idea, then I daresay I KNOW you don't know what you're talking about.... And "attorney" isn't impressive. The only thing a JD proves is that you're capable of temporarily storing and regurgitating information, that's all. It's not impressive, and I know far too many dim-witted lawyers to have much confidence in your abilities. Get a degree in engineering, then I'll listen to what you have to say... at least then I'll know you've had to use your brain at least once in your life.

The only thing you give a shit about is drumming up business for yourself, and it's disgusting. At least have the balls to say "I just want to make money off them" then maybe you'll at least have my respect for telling a shred of the truth... an unfamiliar concept to you, I'm sure.

· RLK: ...I also was in Bosnia for two years where I saw first hand ehat "ethnic cleansing" means. Do YOU know what the consequences of what you want are? Do you?

· Jay Random: Joe "lost control in 1991" No, we never had it. They were still crossing illegally in 1990, 1989, et cetera.

· Joe: Yes, I do... I want them returned to their own goddamn country... That isn't ethnic cleansing, it's deportation. God, what did you mail-order your JD????

· Joe: "Ethnic Cleansing" Are you [EXPLETIVEDELETED] kidding me?!?!?!

· RLK: I am as serious as a heart attack.

· RLK: You are right, though, it won't happen here. Your dream of sending them all home is impossible. We can't deport 20,000,000 to 30,000,000 people. How do you propose to do it? Be specific please.

· Joe: It's people like YOU, RLK, that are the problem... You cloak yourself under the guise of being a "true" conservative, yet you're not... You're the one that wants to just let them in. You care more about them than your own countrymen. I see you live in Michiganistan... god only knows how many terrorists you've shuffled in under our noses. Filth.

· Jay Random: Joe @RLK; We are witnessing exactly what sort of behavior led to Joe's astounding ignorance. He's never going to learn anything new because he "knows" everything now, so join me in giving up on him.

· RLK: I love you too, Joe.

· RLK: Many of my clients are Muslim, Joe. They came here because they DON'T want to live under Islam. Do you know any Muslims? Or did you learn

everything you need to know about Islam on 9/11?

· Joe: Big words, Jay Random... what exactly am I ignorant about?? That I want illegal aliens shipped back to where they belong?? What's ignorant about that, son?

· RLK: Again, Joe: How do you SPECIFICALLY propose to force 30,000,000 people to up and leave at once?

· Joe: Apparently, RLK, you did NOT learn enough from 9/11.

· RLK: Google "Srebrenica," Joe.

· Joe: Who said at once??? Who put a timeline on it?? I don't care if it takes 10 years. We start with one, we finish when we're done.

· Jay Random: Joe p.s. (@RLK again) As much as I would support making citizens out of illegals after the border has been sealed, I don't see it ever actually happening because I don't see us ever succeeding at sealing the borders.

· Joe: Google "America", RLK... Stay on topic.

· RLK: Fine, Joe. Again, Joe: How do you SPECIFICALLY propose to force 3,000,000 people to up and leave at once?

· Joe: Again: Who said at ONCE?

· RLK: I am on topic. America is NOT about ethnic cleansing. We're about stopping ethnic cleansing.

· RLK: 30,000,000 / 10 years = 3,000,000 per year. Or 300,000 per month roughly.

· Joe: Who said anything about "Ethnic"?? I don't care if they're from Germany... If they're not here legally, they NEED TO GO.

· RLK: 90% of the illegals are Hispanic, Joe. You want to create Aztlan, try to scrape them all out. We'll have active separatism before you know it.

· Joe: How many cops do we have in this country, RLK?? Let them do their job... If they catch someone illegal, they deport them.

· Joe: So if a prison holds 100 people, and it just so happens that 90 criminals are hispanic, the prison is suddenly racist???

· RLK: Uh, due process, Joe, due process. Everybody UNDER THE CONSTITUTION has a right to a hearing before an immigration judge before they are ordered deported. We have 540 immigration judges nationwide, or say about 10 per state, roughly. (Michigan has 4 for 10,000,000 inhabitants.) It will take about 1000 years to give them due process which the CONSTITUTION requires.

· Joe: I don't care what race they are or what percentage of the illegal population is... This is about crime, not race. They're here illegally, that makes them criminals. What don't you get about this?

· Joe: Really??? So it's "Due process" when cops don't even bother arresting, or when ICE says "We're not coming for them... let them go"????

· RLK: Precisely. That is exactly what it is.

· RLK: ICE knows what you do not, that 34,000 ICE/USCIS workers nationwide cannot possibly round up 30,000,000 unless we act like the SS.

· Joe: So if I murder someone, and the cops decide NOT to arrest me, just because it's not the politically correct thing to do, that's due process?? And you're a "lawyer"???

· RLK: Murder is a crime. Illegal presence is a civil infraction, a tort.

· Joe: No, RLK, it's a crime.

· Joe: It's an arrestable, indictable, imprisonable offense. That you don't know this, scares me.

· RLK: To quote an ignoramus of my acquaintance, God, what did you mail-order your JD????

· Jay Random: Joe @RLK; I have a lot of respect for the level of patience you have. It's like watching you talk to a angry little yap dog.

· RLK: ILLEGAL REENTRY AFTER REMOVAL is a crime. Illegal presence is a tort. The immigration courts are not criminal courts (I wish they were; my

clients would have far more constitutional rights than they do, like a right to counsel and the right to not be deported via TV set).

· Joe: Big mouth for a little man, Jay Random. Real big mouth.

· RLK: @Jay Random: I have experience dealing with the ignorant on this subject.

· Joe: Yeah...lawyers and immigrants. You're surrounded by idiots, RLK.

· RLK: Not surrounded. Only to my immediate front.

· Joe: RLK, to be fair, I've yet to meet a smart lawyer. Closest I came to one was someone who, brilliant though he was at remembering laws, couldn't pass the one required math class and needed to hire me to tutor him to pass. It was tough work, but I finally got him to understand basic math.

· Joe: [EXPLETIVEDELETED EXPLETIVEDELETED] .. God I wish we could deport the lawyers first, then the illegals.

· Joe: I'm done here... blocking both of you ignorant fools. Useless [EXPLETIVEDELETED] waste of air, both of you.

· RLK: Thank you!

· Jay Random: Thank you!


Afterward: I'm aware that my invoking my experience -- as an immigration attorney, as a former GOP staffer on census issues, as a Bosnia peacekeeper -- make me sound like an insufferable jerk. Guilty as charged, I guess. However, the fact is, I've seen horrors that the vast majority of the ANTI EEELEGUL ALIEN crowd have not seen, and frankly, if they truly understood what it is that they want--and understood what it would truly take for them to achieve their aims--most would recoil in horror.


You will also note that Joe conflates EEELEGUL ALIENS of many categories into one giant pool of sameness. The fact is that EEELEGUL ALIENS come in several varieties:

* A. those who marry US citizen and don't get their paperwork fixed yet [NONCRIMINAL; their behavior is ABSOLUTELY not a crime];

* B. those who entered the United lawfully and overstayed their visas [again,

* C. those who entered the United States with, or later obtained, green cards, and then may have lost them from getting criminal* convictions [those with minor criminal convictions**, often those convicted of misdemeanors who have already been punished for their lawbreaking],

* D. those who enter the United States unlawfully without inspection [MISDEMEANANTS], and

* E. those who have commited major "Aggravated" Felonies and are all automatically deportable or those who have committed immigration fraud or set up criminal organizations to facilitate illegal engry (coyotes). These indeed are FELONS. These latter ARE criminals and do need to be deported.... but they make up less than 2% of all the EEELEGUL ALIENS WHO ARE TAKING OVER OUR COUNTRY (sic).

Joe would make all these categories = E. He doesn't care about their rights to due process; he'd deport them on sight without trial. He basically wants to round them all up, put them on train cars, and throw them out of America at gunpoint.

Joe is, in short, in favor of what amounts to yes, ethnic cleansing. He says he isn't, but this is what his saying means.

I should note for the record that Joe Sixpack is kinda right on one issue: yes, illegal entry is a crime. Under Title 8, United States Code, Section 1325, "illegal entry" is a crime, penalized thus. Title 8, United States Code, Section 1325. (Short version: illegal ENTRY is a misdemeanor punishable by up to six months in jail. Marriage fraud and running an illegal immigration ring are felonies for up to five years' imprisonment.)

IOW: those who EWI – enter without inspection – into the United States are misdemeanants and the criminal penalty for entering legally and not leaving is precisely ZIP. ZERO. NADA.

So, Mr. Sixpack: Are you willing to drive out 15 million or 20 million people because they may have committed .... a misdemeanor?

I didn't think so. And if you still do, I will fight you, and anyone who agrees with you. You want to commit a gross, naked evil against helpless people and what you advocate would cause an unhealing scar on the face of Lady Liberty.

And: If you, Mr. Joe Sixpack, think that defending EEELEGUL ALIENS makes me and evil scum sucking lawyer and a race traitor, it says far more about you than it does about me.

I'll be writing more on this subject in the days ahead.

*Does having a criminal conviction--even of a misdemeanor--make you a "CRIMINAL"? Well, I have one: I got into a rear-end accident in Virginia once, which is a misdemeanor. Does that make me a "criminal"? No. Leastwise I hope not. When we refer to "criminals", we generally mean those who make a career out of committing such crimes or who at least have committed a major felony. Exclusively. One "criminal conviction" does NOT make you a "criminal."

** If you're not a citizen, you can be deported for little more than spitting on the sidewalk. TRUE STORY: I once saw a man, a green card holder, deported for a $140 misdemeanor ticket. But that is a story... for another time.


ADDENDUM: My friend Don W posted the following on FB: "Dear Joe, you have misread the situation and misjudged RLK, whom I've know for 30 years. Applying to law school may indeed be tantamount to filing divorce papers on one's conscience and passing the bar exam equivalent to final decree but this is not the case with Richard. Rich does not seem to have any interest whatsoever in "drumming up business" or exploiting the immigration situation, as reflected in his fee schedule which ranges from "reasonable and customary" to "heavily discounted" to "waived entirely" much to the chagrin of his friends who would stick him with the bar tab more often if he would just go chase an ambulance or two. Richard does not venture a firm opinion on any matter that he does not have a firm grasp of.

"[Furthermore...] It would seem to belabor the obvious, even if you eliminate boxcars from the equation and purchased 12-20 first class tickets to Acapulco or Mexico City, are you under the impression that millions would just say "aw shucks" forsake their lives and property and get on board? Any regulation you would enforce at gunpoint would be "ethnic cleansing" in spirit if not definition. Misdemeanants at gunpoint?

"Have you considered the impact of deporting those brought here as children, educated in US schools, steeped in US culture, functionally adapted to American life...deportation would be unreasonable. These "illegals" may think they are Mexicano but they are de facto US, Mexico would be an exotic alien culture that they would be completely unprepared to cope with. Have you considered the economic impact of a hole 12-20 (30) million wide? Engineering requires some familiarity with systems analysis. Apply that skill deficit to that equation.

"PS I should have read the entire transcript I wouldn't have bothered. Citing expertise does not make you an "insufferable jerk" it just makes you informed."

(Shucks, Don, I'm blushin'.....)