Monday, February 4, 2013

"My Kingdom for a Hearse!"

The catte the ratte and lovell our dogge
Ruleth all Englande vnder a hogge...*



So they found the grave of Darth Glouchester....

....also known as Dick the Turd.

I know, I know, not very nice.

But Richard III wasn't no nice guy, either.

Remember, up until the 20th Century, he was considered the Paragon of Evil in Anglosphere culture. He was a rebel, a traitor, a child killer times two; he hanged a number of his own advisors, and he rape-married the widow of his rival Henry Prince of Wales.... it is only by an accident of history he only killed dozens. Had he been head of the Communist Party of the Soviet Union instead of the King of England -- so called -- he would likely have killed millions. (He is pricelessly, and pitilessly, skewered in the 1993 production of Richard III starring Ian McKellen, which showed what he might have done in our day.)


He and his cronies--William Catesby ("the Catte"), Richard Ratcliffe ("the Ratte"), and Francis, 1st Viscount Lovell ("our Dogge")--quite ruthlessly stopped at nothing, including the murder of children, to place and keep him on the throne. Only Henry Richmond--later Henry VII--had the steel to stop him.

I do find it of historical interest that they found his bones, and I'm glad (for the people of Leichester) that they now have a tourist attraction in his new soon to be tomb.  And it's fair that after 500 years he finally gets a decent burial.

But I also find it historically appropos that for hundreds of years, Englishmen have been parking cars over his ass.

"Now!...That's all I can remember. You know! That famous speech from Richard III - 'now, something something something something.'" - Red Dwarf


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*It should be noted that the author of this dogge-erel was drawn and quartered. Lesson: It pays to know your audience.

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Keep it clean for gene.