Tuesday, June 26, 2012

"Shut up," he explained.

Monday, June 25, 2012

First Day Of The Week...
Time for some Greg's Giggles!



Ladies 'n' Germs, It's GREG SCHANKIN!

* Former Egyptian leader Hosni Mubarak has been sentenced to life in prison. You know, it's too bad we couldn't get the John Edwards trial moved to Egypt.

* I had a fantastic trip to Portland, Oregon, a while back. They say there are a lot of hipsters there. What is a hipster? I'm into Doctor Who, vinyl records. Does that make me a hipster? Maybe a dorkster.

* My buddy called me today to tell me he got a DUI last a few weeks back celebrating first the Kentucky Derby and then Cinco di Mayo. I have known him a long time, two things he could care less about is horses and Mexican holidays. He didn't have a clue even why it was a Mexican holiday. So I said to him that; Cinco de Mayo, of course, celebrates the victory of the Mexican army over the French. You know, if you have to use defeating the French military as a reason to spend the day drinking, you're probably an alcoholic already.

* If it weren't for the Irish and the Mexicans, between the Super Bowl and the 4th of July we would have no reason to get drunk.

* It’s prom time. One year, I had to take my cousin to the prom. I don’t know who was more embarrassed — him or me.

* Officials in London plan to use high-pitched shrill and painful sounds to disperse large crowds at the Olympics this summer. Or as the cast of "The View" put it, "Looks like we're going to the Olympics!.

* Today Travel and Leisure magazine came out with their list of America's best airports. They always give high marks to airports with indoor gardens and yoga rooms instead of stuff that really matters to me, like how quickly I can get out of baggage claim after stealing somebody's suitcase.

* As we're approaching the convention, some are wondering what Newt Gingrich will do. Well, right now he's working on a half-hearted endorsement for Mitt Romney.

* President Obama has come up with a new campaign slogan — "Forward" — that's the slogan. And believe me, if unemployment doesn't improve by November, it'll be "Forward my mail."

* First lady Michelle Obama said that if she could trade places with anyone in the world, it would be Beyoncé. Of course it got awkward when Barack was like, “I’m game!."

* Apparently some of the lawyers that wrote the Arizona immigration law are tied to Belgian extremists. I didn’t know that Belgians could be extreme about anything — except maybe waffles.

* Scientists say they have found the "master switch" that controls obesity. It's called the refrigerator light.

* I have chipped nail polish on my right big toe and i am looking for other FB members who have the same problem to form a closed group for understanding and support of this particular issue. Please submit a photo to Schankin for qualification details. Thank You.

* I finally signed up for Twitter yesterday. I waited to do it because I was afraid it would ruin my life — and it did.

* JC Penny has a new ad in their catalog that features a pair of gay dads. Some people were shocked by the ad, especially the guys' wives.

* Apparently, Osama bin Laden was killed with money and phone numbers sewn into his clothing. So we got him right before he left for summer camp.

* Last night was elimination night on The Voice.” I don’t like all this eliminating that goes on, it’s so negative. I would like to see a show where they add people every week.

* Millions of shares of Facebook stock were sold a few weeks ago. It’s great — now you can own a piece of the website that completely owns YOU.

* The Oxford English Dictionary announced which new words will be included in the next edition. It’s like when they announce the line-up for “Dancing With the Stars,” but for people who can read.

* I have a New Year's resolution. This is absolutely the last year I buy another one of those stupid Mayan calendars, okay?

* This week, Obama will unveil his new jobs bill. I’m sure that will sail right through.

* I hate to dampen everybody's spirit but they busted up another one of these exploding underpants plots. All I can say is thanks a lot, underpants bombers, because now at airport security we have to put our underpants in a tray.

* A man in the UK was banned from a public park after he tried to have sex with a tree. I don’t know about you, but I think Al Gore has finally gone too far.

Ththththat's all, folks......

Sunday, June 24, 2012

REPOST: Tattered Remnant #002:
A Woman of No Importance:
Elizabeth Everest (1832-1895)



Few remembered to history live a more obscure life than Elizabeth Everest. She was born in around 1832; she died in 1895. She never married, never had any children of her own; she wrote nothing, invented nothing, created nothing. She boasted no scientific achievement or artistic gift. Although a woman of deep faith, she was not a nun or any other kind of Catholic Religious (she was, in fact, vehemently Low Church Anglican). She was, in fact, not the least bit extraordinary, except this:

She had a great deal of love in her.

She was born in Chatham, in the county of Kent; we know nothing of her early life. She was, by profession, a care-giver. She spent her thirties raising a girl named Ella Phillips, in a tiny town called Barrow-in-Furness, Cumberland. Having raised the girl to her teens, the girl’s father, an Anglican cleric, sadly released her from his service; but she took with her his references, which served her well to get a new position.

In 1875, one of England’s most noble families had need for a governess. The younger son of the Duke of Marlborough, a well known rake, had married a wealthy teenaged American, a young woman of great beauty but highly questionable morals. She had given birth "prematurely", seven months after the wedding, and, having done so, wanted nothing to do with being a mother.

The young lady--only a "mother" by convention and only a lady given her title by marriage--hired a wetnurse, who fed the child; when he was a month old, she hired Elizabeth Everest to care for him.

Having dropped the child with her, the child’s mother and her husband devoted themselves to a life of pleasure: balls and parties and soirees and all the entertainments that went with their set at the time. They consigned their child, a sickly redhead with a tendency to throw temper tantrums, to the nanny's care as they lived the 19th Century equivalent of ‘la vita loca’. As the years passed, the father became publicly prominent, a well known politician; she his wife spent her time throwing parties and seducing other men.

As the boy grew, the father abused the boy intellectually and verbally on those rare occasions he actually paid attention to the child. His mother gave herself to an endless series of high-ranking lovers and hardly noticed that the child even existed.

The parents called the nanny “Mrs. Everest” – an honorific offered all nannies, as she had never married. The boy addressed her as "Woom", from a poor first attempt to say the word “Woman".

“Woom” changed his diapers, offered him her arms for comfort, wiped his tears. She gave him all the love and parenting that his own parents should have given, but did not. She was his love, his caretaker, and shaped him in the ways of life in ways that his foolish, frivolous mother and cruelly insane father could not hope to do so. She was his confidante and he loved her dearly, in ways he never could his own mother and father, who viewed him with annoyance, cold indifference--or worse.

When the boy was seven, he was exiled to a series of boarding schools where he was abused and beaten; when he came home for holiday, he often found his parents gone –without warning – and spent his Chrismasses alone with his nanny and the other servants of the house. The father was often in London, where he was prominent in Parliament; the mother was, in essence, wherever she wanted to be, which was generally the beds of rich, powerful and handsome men other than her husband, whom she came to actively loathe, as he treated her with the same callousness he did the boy.

Through all this, “Woom” was the boy’s light and his comfort, and she shaped him in ways his parents were incapable of doing. As the boy grew older, he had to cope with the bitter reality that his mad and cruel father would never love him, and that his mother–for all the nobility of her surroundings, an incontinent whore with scores, or even hundreds, of lovers–could never be a mother for him.

The father's syphilis finally ended his life; he died in January 1895, when the boy was twenty. In June of that year Mrs. Everest fell ill with peritonitis. The young man, no longer a child, rushed from his military training camp and was with her in her sister’s home in North London, where she passed away on July 3, 1895.

She was buried in Forest Park, London, and the young man, no longer a boy, erected a headstone over her grave. It stands to this day: “ERECTED TO THE MEMORY OF ELIZABETH ANN EVEREST, WHO DIED THE 3RD OF JULY 1895, AGE 62 YEARS.”

At the base of the stone is the simple addendum, visible if you scrape away the grass.

“...BY WINSTON SPENCER CHURCHILL”.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Dorky Lawyer Humor. Ar ar.



Thursday, June 21, 2012

Hot time, Summer in the City....
Time for GREG'S GIGGLES! (Again!)


Michelle, ma belle, sont le mots qui vont tres bien ensemble....



Ladies 'n' Germs, Mr. GREG SCHANKIN!

*     Apparently Rick Santorum endorsed Mitt Romney, very late at night via email. That just makes Santorum one of the 10 million guys ashamed of what he did late that night on his computer.

*     Washington, D.C. has a program started last year that would pay residents $12,000 to move closer to their workplace. It’s already a huge hit — in fact 3,000 prostitutes moved in right across from Congress so far.

*     Leviticus 19:28 Ye shall not make any cuttings in your flesh for the dead, nor print any marks upon you: I am the Lord.. ( I guess I'll pass on that tattoo).

*     I was just reading about this. Qantas Airlines will start attaching electronic tags to luggage to keep it from getting lost. And they're going to start doing that once they find the suitcase containing all the electronic tags.

*     Well, as you know, President Obama was in Afghanistan again the other day as part of his big "Did I Mention I killed bin Laden?" tour.

*     A new sleep study suggested that insomnia is linked to early death. Well that should help you doze off. If you weren’t sleeping before, this should knock you right out.

*     I didn't know this: it sez here that Cinco de Mayo celebrates the day that St. Cinco drove all the piñatas out of Tijuana.

*     President Obama went on "The View." He went on the "The View" because they're the only group of women the president trusts his Secret Service agents to be around.

*     The Incredible Hulk is an Avenger. I don't find him believable. I have a problem accepting that a guy can turn into a big monster and burst out of his clothes. I just don't buy that he can do it without his pants coming off.

*     Romney proves with a little hard work and a little luck, even a multimillionaire white guy from Harvard can succeed in this country.

*     There’s a new nasal spray that uses the “cuddle hormone” oxytocin to help men feel more affectionate. I thought I was clearing my sinuses with Afrin, and I ended up spooning with my pharmacist.

*     Senator Joe Biden and New York City Mayor Michael Bloomberg played a round of golf together last week. Biden shot an 89 while Bloomberg shot the person who arranged a round of golf with Joe Biden.

*     A group of women protested a new regulation that penalizes cab drivers who pick up prostitutes. Apparently they are non prostitutes who merely dress sensually for work. Only in New York. They don't realize that they have been caught up in Mayor Bloomberg's ongoing campaign against Big Gulps.

*     The French president got voted out. So "adieu" to Nicolas Sarkozy. He's riding his "bicyclette" off into the sunset. At least he gets to keep Carla Bruni as a consolation prize.

*     Al Gore and his girlfriend were spotted taking long walks on the beach, measuring how much the sea is rising. Of course, the climate isn't getting warmer; Al just walked away from Tipper.

*     The queen banishes Snow White because of her beauty. But the dwarves help Snow White because they're smitten by that very beauty. It teaches kids an important lesson: Nothing matters except for your looks.

*     We have a Mexican Town here in Detroit, so we are very festive for Cinco de Mayo. This year the mayor had them fill all the potholes with salsa.

*     I know they say you're not supposed to look at a solar eclipse, but I was looking at it. I looked right at it. I don't care. I do what I want.

*     I watched a “Planet of the Apes” prequel called “Rise of the Apes” on DVD the other night. It covered the apes' growth, evolution, and the summer they spent together at a house on the Jersey Shore.

*     I always think Mother’s Day is funny because all of the mothers I know just want to get as far away from their children as possible. However, I have to salute the single moms on Father's Day. They got stuck with double duty.

*     According to Danish researchers, people who jog live six years longer than non-joggers. Aren't you OK with dying early and missing that six years of jogging?

*     President Obama says his campaign for a second term is still about hope and change. The president's exact words were, "I hope I won't have to change my address."

*     Strange development in the Secret Service prostitution saga. They issued new rules of conduct recently and on some trips they will send chaperones to make sure the rules are enforced. Am I nuts, or is this weird? We have to give the Secret Service chaperones to make sure they don't get drunk and have sex?

*     Occupy Wall Street is back. There were protests everywhere last week. They marched all the way to the White House. It's not easy to get all the way to the White House. Just ask Ron Paul.

Ththththtaat's all, folks.....

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

REPOST: Tattered Remnant #09:
His Brother's Keeper: David Kaczynski




HIS BROTHER'S KEEPER: DAVID KACZYNSKI

This is a sort of Cain and Abel story in reverse.

I imagine it began with a conversation between husband and wife: an early Sunday afternoon in September 1995, with wife in kitchen, right after lunch, and with husband in the living room, nodding over the New York Times (I am fairly sure he wasn't watching a ball game on TV at the time).

The wife comes into the living room, holding a pan which she wipes with a dishcloth. "Honey?"

"Hmn?"

"You know? I have been thinking. I've been thinking about it a lot."

"What's on your mind, dear?"

"It's this Unabomber guy that's been in the newspapers these last couple of weeks."

"And....?"

"I read those bits of that manifesto they published. And I've read the biography the police think they have. The bomber is from Chicago, and has connections to San Francisco." Pause. Gulp. "Have you ever thought that it could be your brother?"

* * *

Imagine, if you will, the following scenario:

* You have a very strong belief that your brother is a much wanted serial killer. Do you turn him in?

* It is highly likely that your brother, if captured, will face the death penalty for his crimes. Do you still turn him in?

It sounds like a question from one of those board games that childless couples play at get-togethers with their friends on a Saturday night.

Now imagine that this is not a trivial pursuit, not a game question, but most horrible reality.

David Kaczynski faced precisely this challenge, and managed to solve the puzzle while still saving his brother's life. Today he heads a movement to abolish the death penalty.

And how he solved the dilemma puts him in the forefront of those who should be known as Tattered Remnants.

* * *

For the twenty years preceding the summer of 1995, universities and commercial pursuits throughout the country had been plagued by a series of mail bombings: the bombs themselves carefully constructed, almost lovingly crafted by a fanatic with an incredible sense of attention to detail, who hand-made his creations and used untraceable, common household ingredients and deadly shrapnel designed to deliberately harm or kill the recipients.

His targets were university researchers, individuals involved in environmental development, and, on one occasion, an airliner. He had killed three, maimed a dozen. Blowing off people's hands and fingers and eyes, mutilating faces, causing endless pain to a few and fear to many. And there was no sign he was about to stop.

The investigation at the FBI attempting to track him down was given the covername UNABOM, for "University and Airline Bomber." This leaked to the press and so this ghost-killer, this untracable anomaly, was given the name "The Unabomber."

The only thing they knew about the Bomber--I won't use the term "Unabomber" after this point, as I believe it glamorizes his evil and bloody deeds--was that the Bomber was a very skilled mechanical craftsman, that he was white, with a long thin nose. His packages had been mailed from widely spread points of origin, which meant that he had the freedom and resources to travel around the country to transmit his messages of death. One glimpse of the man in the 1970s rendered a famous composite picture of a youngish man in a 'hoodie' wearing large glasses and a moustache.

They guessed he was from Chicago, since the first bombings occurred there; they also guessed that he had lived in San Francisco for a time; that he had spent some time in Salt Lake City.

But who or where he was drew a complete and absolute blank.

* * *

For several months prior to the Sunday chat, the Bomber sent several letters, including some to his victims, demanding that his manifesto, a critique of modern technology, be published. There was a great deal of debate over the decision to do so. The author of the letters–-he called himself 'FC', for 'Freedom Club', and spoke of himself in the third person-–claimed that if his demand for publication be met, he would cease further bombings. After much debate at the FBI, the decision was taken to give in to the demand The public was told that decision was made to 'save lives'. However, it was done with the hope that someone would recognize the style and substance of the writing and help identify the Bomber.

In September 1995, David Kaczynski spent a day at the local public library, reading everything he could get his hands on about the bomber, and when he read the Manifesto -- it rang a bell.

He was extremely careful with his suspicions. He dug through old family records and found some of his brother's writings, dating back to the 1970s. He went to considerable expense to privately hire forensic writing analysts to compare the samples, with the hope that a match could be found between the writing styles of his brother and the Bomber–or perhaps hoping that a match would not be found. For good and ill, a connection was made. David, through another attorney, then approached the FBI in the months that followed, and tried to convince them that investigating his brother might yield fruit in their long search for the killer.

It took a while. But a lengthy independent investigation by David at his own expense combined with forensic investigation and word-pattern analysis led the FBI to decide to obtain a search warrant.

In April, 1996, the bomber was arrested early in the morning at his Montana cabin. The arrest went forward without incident. The original draft of his manifesto was found in his possession, as well as a single live bomb. The FBI had finally succeeded: but only because David had given them the clues they needed.

But David's attempt to have himself and his family shielded from the case failed. CBS News and Dan Rather publicized David's contribution to the FBI at the time of the arrest; the only reason they didn't do so before the search warrant was served was that the head of the FBI, Louis Freeh, had to personally ask Dan Rather as a favor not to go to air the story before the arrest took place.

In the days that followed, David found himself betrayed by the U.S. law enforcement personnel with whom he had been working. He had given them the information with the direct understanding that, in exchange for the information that he provided, and in light of his brother's diagnosed paranoid schizophrenia, they would not seek the death penalty. Federal prosecutors immediately ignored this proviso and, once the arrest was made, the case proceeded in Federal court with an explicit request for the death penalty.

As things turned out, through a combination of very good lawyering and very bad courtroom behavior, the defense somehow managed to obtain a plea agreement from the Federal government. The bomber pled guilty under a proviso that he would not be subjected to the death penalty, but at the same time, he would receive life imprisonment without possibility of parole.

David received FBI's million-dollar reward. He used a portion of the money to pay for his considerable personal expenses spent for lawyers on this matter. The rest of the money was donated to his brother's victims. David profited not a nickel from his brother's acts or from his own cooperation with law enforcement.

He spent many years counseling troubled youths. He became a vegetarian and a devout Buddhist. In 2001 he became head of an anti-death penalty group.

But there can be no pleasing some people. For certain folks, out of a perverted alienation from what is good and right in our culture, find the bomber admirable – and David abhorrent, as David turned his own flesh and blood over to law enforcement. The San Francisco Chronicle even dared to call him "His Brother's Traitor" in an article headline.

Anathema sit. David's actions were highly moral, taken from the highest of motives, and pursued with grace, honesty and fortitude. Even though he hadn't spoken with his brother for ten years – even though he had come to abhor his world view – he rightfully believed it better for his brother to be arrested quietly and carefully than either to let him remain free to kill again, or to risk a Waco-style standoff that would likely have left him dead along with, possibly, still others.

Doing the right thing is clearly not always easy. And sometimes a man, no matter how well meaning or just, gets splashed with his brother's criminality or notoriety.

David Kaczynski's actions saved many lives and removed a killer from among us; his actions since, particularly his choice to head up an anti-Death Penalty organization, shows that he has a deeply felt and well cultivated moral sense. The fact that I disagree with him about his stance on the death penalty is immaterial: it is easy to remain civil while disagreeing with a man of honor.

His own words best sum up what motivates the Tattered Remnant:
Would I do it again, knowing what I know now? The answer is yes. I believe that we probably saved lives. I trust the values and ethics that moved us to do what we did. I know that it would be a mistake to use others' failures as an excuse to avoid personal responsibility. The truth is a very powerful thing. I believe there's no possibility of overcoming evil with evil, falsehood with silence, violence with indifference. If we want to change the world for the better, we must put ourselves on the line.
David Kaczynski's actions both before and after his brother was arrested show that, whatever madness and evil drove his brother to kill, he himself is certainly one of the Tattered Remnant.

ADDENDUM 1-6-2010

On this Twelfth Day of Christmas, let us also honor another man, like unto David:

Former bank official Alhaji Umaru Mutallab, thought to be the father of Umar Fairouk Abdulmutallab, the individual accused, ahem, of trying to bomb an airliner flying to Detroit this past Christmas Day.

Mr. Mutallab, the bomber's father, tried everything--meeting with the US Embassy in Lagos, meeting with CIA operatives and officers in Nigeria, everything short of taking an advertisement out in the NY Times--to bring attention on the danger his son presented to the people and the authorities of the United States, a country to which he was and is not even a citizen, or has even visited (to our knowledge).

And he is a Muslim. Since 9/11, very many Americans cannot abide Muslims and can't understand why they can't police their own extremists. Well, here is one man who has done exactly that. And we must salute him, even if we didn't take his warnings seriously enough.

Bless you sir. This whole airliner fiasco is loaded with incompetence and failure, but none of it is attributable to you. Turning your own son in is a terrible thing to have to do, but you did your duty.

And we appreciate it.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

School Bus Owned by IL Catholic School Bombed
...For Prolife Message



(ProLifeCorner.com) – A large school bus, owned by Our Lady of the Sacred Heart Academy, that is well known throughout Rockford [Illinois] for its beautiful pro-life pictures and words asking people to “pray to end abortion”, was fire bombed on Friday night. The damage was extensive to the bus as windows were broken in on both sides and fire bombs were thrown inside to cause maximum damage.It has been speculated that this bombing of a pro-life Christian school bus is in retaliation for the closing of the Rockford abortion mill that is located not far from where the school bus was attacked.

First they ignore you.
Next they mock you.
Then they kill you.
Then you win.
-M.K. Gandhi

Now entering stage 3. Hold on to your hats.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Monday Monday. Time for GREG'S GIGGLES!



LADIES 'N' GERMS.... GREG SCHANKIN!

* I like my coffee like I like my women; hot and sweet. My wife likes her men like she likes her coffee. Sewn up in a burlap sack and tossed over the back of a burro.

* Vice President Joe Biden stayed behind when Obama went to the Middle East this week. He did not go on this trip. Well, thank God for that. What if there had been an emergency here at home and Americans needed somebody to come up and say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time?

* Lindsay Lohan was in New York having dinner with Woody Allen. Nice going, eHarmony.com.

* Hillary Clinton (who I am not a big fan of) is making headlines now for nonpolitical reasons. She attended a number of public events without makeup on. Is that a big deal? I'm pretty sure Colin Powell went without makeup a lot.

* There’s a company in Los Angeles that’s selling a bottle of water for $2,600. You know what’s just as ridiculous? A $2 bottle of water.

* President Obama admitted this week that a former girlfriend that he wrote about in his autobiography was made up and not a real person . . . So Obama had an imaginary girlfriend. Big deal! He had an imaginary economic plan too. It’s all the same.

* Of course he's not alone in that. When I was single I had a lot of girlfriends who turned out to be imaginary, too.

* President Obama is going to host a poetry night at the White House next week. That’s right, Obama will recite some Yeats, Hillary will recite some Frost, Biden will recite some Seuss . . .

* There's a new restaurant in Oregon that serves food infused with medical marijuana. It's annoying when customers call the waiter over and they're like, "Hey, we never got our appetizers. Wait, did we get our appetizers?.

* Father's Day was tough this year. Do you go to the ATM and take out $200 for Tigers's tickets or do you use the $200 to fill up the SUV to go visit dad?

* According to People magazine, Rielle Hunter, the mother of John Edwards' love child, is releasing a new tell-all book this month. It's a memoir about their relationship. She didn't write it herself. She used a ghost skank.

* In an effort to curtail health costs, the Food and Drug Administration is now considering allowing the purchase of drugs without a prescription. You know what that means? One day Americans could actually be able to buy marijuana without ever seeing a doctor.

* Police in California just burned 34,000 marijuana plants that were growing in a state park. The police were very angry about finding all that weed until the wind changed direction.

* A Las Vegas airport got the highest marks for quick security. Of course they did. In Vegas, every other person is a stripper. You just whip off your belts and shoes and you're through in no time.

* Last week was a rough week for Facebook and Mark Zuckerberg. Zuckerberg has lost so much money in the market that President Obama is going to have him replace Ben Bernanke.

* We're learning more and more about that whole Secret Service scandal. Apparently, the prostitutes in Colombia had code names for the different Secret Service guys they were seeing. The main guy, the guy who wanted to keep putting off paying for stuff until later? His nickname was Obama.

* On this day in 1860, the Republican Party nominated Abraham Lincoln as a presidential candidate. During the campaign he raised about $1 million. You know how he was able to raise that money at campaign gatherings? He passed around his giant hat.

* Today is “Star Wars Day.” The “Star Wars” movies have endured for so long because the characters are iconic. There’s Darth Vader, Obi-Wan Kenobi, that big lovable furry thing — Harrison Ford. The “force” itself was like a character — an all-powerful presence that dominates the entire galaxy. These days we call it “Oprah."

* The world’s oldest living person, aged 114, passed away 2 years ago. The cause of death — you guessed it — a knife fight. This curse of the world’s oldest person continues — they always seem to die.

* A DMV clerk in Massachusetts hacked into the state computer and cleared her driving record of $1,400 in parking fines. She was arrested for the crime, but rewarded for actually doing something while working at a DMV.

* It was announced last week that they're auctioning off the Elvis tomb. The auction house in Memphis actually is selling the place where Elvis left the building. He's not in there, of course, because he's working in a Burger King in Kalamazoo, Michigan.

* "The Avengers." This is the movie that combines all of your favorite superheroes — except Batman. And Spider-Man. And Superman. And Aquaman. And the Michelin Man. And director Michael Mann. And singer Aimee Mann.

* The Arizona Senate passed a bill making it illegal for a person to “intentionally” create “a human-animal hybrid.” And right afterward, one farmer was like, "Define 'intentionally.'"

* Yesterday France elected a new president. When the French secret service hires prostitutes, it is not a scandal. It is called test driving mistresses for your boss.

* The White House says that the unemployment rate is good news because it means more people are looking for jobs. More good news like that, and everyone at the White House will be looking for jobs.

* Last week, a hunter in Kansas shot his friend twice because he mistakenly thought he was a turkey. After the first shot, the guy said he wasn't a turkey. But, come on, that's exactly what a turkey would have said.

* Big medical news — be careful! According to the CDC, there's been a huge increase in SSSTDs. Those are Secret Service sexually transmitted diseases.

* Yesterday was Father's Day. May was National Cheeseburger Month. That shows you our priorities in this country — dads get one day, cheeseburgers get a whole month.

* President Obama has come out in support of same-sex marriage. President Obama's also in favor of gay Secret Service agents.

Thththtat's all, folks......

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Some Justice.

From our friends at SrebrenicaGenocide.blogspot.com:

Image made from TV provided by Bosnian war crimes court showing former Bosnian Serb soldiers Franc Kos, first row right, Stanko Kojic second row center, Vlastimir Golijan third row center, and Zoran Goronja, forth row right, during the pronouncement of the verdict for the four Bosnian Serb soldiers in Sarajevo, Bosnia, on Friday, June 15, 2012. Bosnian court on Friday convicted the four former elite soldiers of crimes against humanity for their part in the 1995 Srebrenica massacre and handed down sentences of up to 43-years. Bosnian Serb Stanko Kojic was sentenced to 43 years in prison; Slovenian Franc Kos and Bosnian Serb Zoran Goronja both got 40 years; and Vlastimir Golijan received a 19-year prison sentence.


ABC, via The Associated Press, confirms. Some justice, indeed. Not enough, but some.

Happy Fathers' Day

H

Happy Father's day, William J. Kent. And A. Leo Kent, and Frank Remski. And Tom Kent, John Remski, Louis Dueweke and Martin O'Brien. And John Kent, Richard Hart, Thomas O'Brien and Richard Henry, and the four Remski/Dueweke fathers I don't know, and all 16 of your fathers.....

Friday, June 15, 2012

A Modest Inquiry: America, 2012

If the poem AMERICA by Alan Ginsberg had been written today, how would it sound?.....

America it's them bad Republicans.

Them Republicans them Republicans and them Tea-Partiers. And them Republicans.

The Republican wants to eat us alive. The Republican's power mad. She wants to take our hybrids and electrics from out our garages.

Her wants to redistrict Chicago. Her needs a Red State Reader's Digest. her wants our union auto plants in Michigan. Him big bureaucracy ruinning our birthcontrol.

That no good. Ugh. Him makes poor blacks do homework. Him need big black Nissans.

Hah. Her make us all work eight hours a day. Help.

America this is quite serious.

America this is the impression I get from looking in the television set. America is this correct?

I'd better get right down to the job.

It's true I don't want to join the Army or turn lathes in precision parts factories, I'm nearsighted and quite sane anyway.

America I'm putting my straight shoulder to the wheel.....

Good $hit Happens Too. (New Coke Ad)

Thursday, June 14, 2012

Flag Day 2012



 Long may she wave.

The Fraudulent Remnant: Stanley Weyman (1890-1960)

I like this guy. He had class. He had style. And he was one of the Tattered Remnant.

"Greater love hath no man...."

And:

"...your sins are forgiven you because of the greatness of your love."

(This just goes to show that you can't always judge the book before you read the very last chapter.)

The entire article below was taken from the Wikipedia article on Stanley Weyman. I did not write it.

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Stanley Weyman with Princess Fatima of Afghanistan, 1921

Stanley Clifford Weyman

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia

Stanley Clifford Weyman (November 25, 1890 – August 27, 1960), was an American multiple impostor who impersonated public officials, including the United States Secretary of State and various military officers.

Weyman was born as Stanley Jacob Weinberg on November 25, 1890 in Brooklyn, New York. His parents could not afford college tuition. He worked mainly in nondescript jobs but on occasion ventured to become somebody in the higher social ladder.

In 1910, Weyman's first imposture was as US consul representative to Morocco who dined in the finest restaurants of New York City. He was eventually arrested for fraud.

Next Weyman took a role of both a military attaché from Serbia and a US Navy lieutenant so the identities could use each other as a reference. He was soon caught.

Weyman was released the second time in 1915. He then became Lt Commander Ethan Allen Weinberg, consul general for Romania. He inspected the USS Wyoming and invited everyone to a dinner in the Astor Hotel. The advance publicity alerted the Bureau of Investigation and federal agents arrested him at the party. He was heard to complain that they should have waited until dessert. He got a year in jail.

In 1917 he took the mantle of Royal St. Cyr, a lieutenant in the Army Air Corps. He was arrested when he was on an inspection tour in the Brooklyn armory because a suspicious military tailor had alerted the police.

Weyman was paroled in 1920. Shortly afterwards he forged credentials to become a company doctor in Lima, Peru. There he threw lavish parties until his credit ran out and he was arrested.

In 1921 he noticed Princess Fatima of Afghanistan who was visiting the US and was trying to get an official recognition. The US State Department mainly ignored her. Weyman visited her as a State Department Naval Liaison Officer, apologized for the oversight and promised to arrange an appointment with the president. He managed to convince the princess to give him $10,000 for "presents" to State Department officials. He used the money for a private railway carriage to Washington DC and an opulent hotel room in the Willard Hotel for the princess and his entourage.

Weyman proceeded to visit the State Department, dropped names of prominent senators and succeeded in getting the appointment, first with Secretary of State Charles Evans Hughes, and on July 26, 1921 president Warren G. Harding received Princess Fatima. Weyman's minor mistakes in the protocol aroused some suspicion, but when the press released his picture alongside the other dignitaries, the jig was up. He was indicted for impersonating a naval officer and sentenced to two years in jail.

In one case the Evening Graphic newspaper called for Weyman to get an interview with the visiting Queen Marie of Romania. He gained admittance as the Secretary of State and the paper got its interview.

In 1926 Weyman appeared at Rudolph Valentino's funeral and attached himself to his grieving lover Pola Negri as a personal physician. He issued regular press releases on her condition and established a faith-healing clinic in Valentino's house. Pola Negri did not condemn him after he was exposed.

During World War II Weyman was sentenced for seven years in prison for offering advice to draft dodgers -- he told them to feign various medical conditions.

In 1948 Weyman made up credentials to become a journalist for the United Nations at Lake Success. He got acquainted with the delegates Warren Austin and Andrei Gromyko. His comeuppance came when the Thai delegation invited him to become their press officer with full diplomatic accreditation. Weyman contacted the State Department and asked whether it would affect his US citizenship. They already knew him all too well and exposed him.

In 1954 Weyman tried to get a $5000 home improvement loan for a house that did not exist. He failed to convince the judge that he was insane.

In August 1960, Weyman was fatally shot when he tried to stop a robbery in a New York hotel where he was working as a night porter. The investigating detective said "I've known about the man's past record for years. He did a lot of things in the course of his life, but what he did this time was brave."

Monday, June 11, 2012

Commerce Secretary in Economic Hit-And-Run

News Item: The Secretary of Commerce was apparently involved in two car crashes Saturday.

Authorities are investigating a series of economic crashes involving U.S. Secretary of Commerce John Bryson, authorities said Saturday.

Bryson was found asleep at the wheel and has been hospitalized, officials said.

Bryson was driving the United States economy when he allegedly rear-ended the Chinese economy as it was waiting for the recession to pass, according to a statement released by the L.A. County Sheriff's Department and the San Gabriel Police Department.

Bryson then crashed the economy a second time, authorities said. Individuals following Bryson on Twitter called to ask for police assistance.

Bryson continued to drive the economy and allegedly crashed it into the European Union's economy, which was stalled at an intersection.

There authorities found him alone and asleep in the driver's seat.

Authorities said drugs or alcohol do not appear to have played a role in the crash except insofar as their use was involved when making economic policy in the aftermath of the housing market meltdown of 2009. They said Bryson was cooperative. He was cited for felony hit and run but was not booked into jail because he had been admitted to the hospital. His condition was not known.

According to his official biography, Bryson was chairman of Edison International, the parent company of Southern California Edison for 18 years until 2008.

"Throughout a distinguished career in which he's led nonprofits, government agencies and large companies, he's been a fierce proponent of alternative energy," President Obama said in announcing Bryson's nomination last year.

"As CEO, he created a competitive power subsidiary, the Mission Group, which expanded across the U.S. and was a global leader in the privatization of power plants and electric systems in Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, the Philippines and several European countries," according to the biography. "Bryson has also served as a director on several public, educational and nonprofit boards, including The Boeing Company and The Walt Disney Company. He has also served as an adviser and a director of entrepreneurial and start-up companies including Coda Automotive, Inc. and BrightSource Energy. He was a senior adviser to the global investment firm Kohlberg Kravis Roberts (KKR)."

Earlier in his career, Bryson was an environmental lawyer and co-founder of the Natural Resources Defense Council.

He could not immediately be reached for comment, having what appears to be a massive post-stimulus hangover.

--With Apologies to Andrew Blankstein of the L.A. Times

Monday. June. Hot. No Coffee.
Time for GREG'S GIGGLES!

Ladies 'n' Germs, It's GREG SCHANKIN!

* It's weird to me what Obama chose to fabricate in his memoir. It wasn't something cool he made up, like hitting six home runs in a little league game, or faking his own birth certificate. No, it was something lame. He just compressed the details of several girlfriends into one character. I'm thinking, oh, very smooth. Because if there's one thing I know that women love, it's being blurred together with other women.

* Researchers at Harvard say red wine can slow the aging process. They say if you drink red wine, it can help you look younger. And you can look even younger if you get the other person to drink it.

* You know what Portland has lot of? Microbreweries. I think they are like regular breweries, but only serve midgets.

* Unemployment's still looking pretty bad. In fact, the White House has a new slogan on jobs creation — "Hope and Change the Subject."

* Here's a little bit of history. On this day in 1789, George Washington became the first president of the United States after just narrowly beating out Ron Paul.

* Lindsay Lohan was seen having lunch with Woody Allen. That's a parole violation, right?

* I read that a cafe in Brooklyn is now selling a $12 cup of coffee. Inside the cup you’ll find hints of apricot, pineapple, kiwi, and lime. And outside the cup you’ll find an idiot who spends 12 bucks on coffee.

* Producers are already hard at work on the Avengers ' sequel, which is tentatively titled "The Avengers 2: Still Avenging Stuff."

* I just saw a U-tube video from f 2010 of Chris Brown singing the national anthem before the Mayweather-Mosley fight in Vegas. Chris Brown singing the National Anthem before a fight? That's like Michael Vick opening the Westminster Dog Show.

* More details about the Secret Service scandal. The "Today" show sat down with the woman who claims to be the Colombian prostitute who got into the argument over how much she was supposed to be paid. NBC made a point of saying they did not pay her for the interview. This poor woman never gets paid.

* There's a new blood test that can tell you how fast you're aging. It cost $700. Or you can just look in the mirror.

* A new survey found that 12 percent of parents punish their kids by banning social networking sites. The other 88 percent punish their kids by joining social networking sites.

* Scientists are using a robot explorer at the pyramids in Egypt to photograph secret chambers that humans haven’t seen in 4,500 years. There’s graffiti down there that hasn’t been translated yet. It probably says, “Larry King was here."

* There were big demonstrations protesting Arizona’s new immigration law in front of the Supreme Court. Despite the controversy, the state is going ahead with their Cinco de Mayo party. I guess it’s a going-away thing.

* "The Avengers" made an unbelievable amount of money its first weekend — $207 million, the biggest opening for a movie ever. If you add in the money made overseas last week, that makes $655 million in 12 days. Finally we have proof of what I've always suspected. We are surrounded by nerds!

* Set your exploding underpants on low and you can use them to reheat delicious pizza bagels!

* In New Jersey, this mother has been arrested for taking her five-year-old daughter into a tanning booth, where the girl got sunburned . . . Do you know what this means? There are now people in New Jersey dumber than the cast of “Jersey Shore.” I didn't think that was possible.

* Anyway, a new biography about the president states that he took "artistic liberties” in his memoir and says that he “fictionalized details for narrative clarity." That means President Obama just made some crap up. How is this news? He’s a politician. How do you think he got to be the president? You make crap up. You want to be a senator, you come out of college, you start lying and you just don't quit.

* New York is considering a law that would keep people out of jail if they were caught with small amounts of marijuana — which explains why stoners are like, "It's a cop. Hide most of the weed."

* The Kentucky Derby is coming up. This year, the horses e subjected to a surprise drug test. Isn’t everything a surprise to a horse though?

* President Obama visited Afghanistan last week — unplanned, unannounced, just went right to Afghanistan. Not to be outdone, Mitt Romney got in his car and drove through the rough part of Beverly Hills.

* President Obama has revealed his new re-election slogan — "Forward." That's a good message for Obama. He's telling voters, "Whatever you do, don't look back at all those campaign promises I made."

* A lot of people are boycotting Arizona Iced Tea, which is made in New York City. But that’s irrelevant to the boycott organizers — Snapple.

* Researchers are developing a stay-sober pill that will prevent you from getting drunk off of alcohol. It's perfect for the drinker who wants all the calories of alcohol but none of the fun.

* A new report found that prostitutes are using Twitter as a free way to advertise. They are getting a lot of retweets from one user — @secret service.

* A 1920 Babe Ruth uniform sold at a sports memorabilia auction for $4 million. As a matter of fact, this is the uniform he was wearing when he was first interviewed by Larry King.

* They're calling Newt the biggest gas bag to go down since the Hindenburg.

Ththththtat's all, folks.....

Sunday, June 10, 2012

The Tears of Penelope



This is the wedding picture of Peggy and Billy Harris. It was taken in 1943, shortly before Billy Harris left to fight in WW2. He was a pilot.

On July 17, 1944, his plane disappeared in combat over Northern France, somewhere inland from the Normandy beaches.

And that was the last reliable information she got about his death for sixty years. She kept writing her Congressmen asking for help. None came.

Just a few weeks ago, CBS News located his grave. The information was right there in his service records.

Since then she has sent flowers to his grave ten times.

She never remarried--never even formally had him declared dead.

"He was married to me for all of his life, and I have been married to him for all of my life," she said.

Excuse me, I have to stop now. For some reason my monitor is all blurry. Addendum: http://www.wimp.com/missinghusband/ Watch this. But have a hankie close to hand.

Thursday, June 7, 2012

Says it all.

You are missed, Lady Di.

Hey, it's Pomplamoose! (Again)

About six months ago I posted a Pomplamoose video, which you can find here.

Today a buddy of mine posted the following cover of Earth Wind & Fire's September.



I am particularly fond of the dancing grandmother.

(And Nataly is easy on the eyes.)

We like. A lot. (With Thanks to Sal.)

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

Walk-Off Homer!



This one is dedicated to all my friends who thought that the riotous behavior by the unionists in Madison last year was a good thing.

Not only did Governor Walker win, he won big ... in a walk, shall we say.

And one political website called it "the Stalingrad of the Left."

They made it into a symbol and a do-or-die fight.They threw everything they had into it.
And they lost it all.
Hubris led to Nemesis, to catastrophe.The tide has turned.
On to Kursk.
On to Berlin.On to November.
Just so. Just so.

Monday, June 4, 2012

Adieu, Eduard Khil (Sept 4, 1934-June 4, 2012)

Dedicated to the Memory of the Trolololo Guy on FB--a very famous singer in the Soviet Union who found worldwide fame, after a long and successful career as a singer, through a Youtube video that went viral. His highly unusual name (for a Russian) derived from a Spanish (some say English) great-great-grandfather named Gill who settled in Russia during Tsarist times. Edvard Khil, as a child, entertained soldiers during the Great Patriotic War (i.e., WW2) and made a name for himself as a singer of classic and popular music in the old Soviet Union. His career faded in the 1990s--and then revived in the early 2000s when the above video went viral with ten million hits almost overnight. He died after remaining unconscious for a month following a stroke. Goodnight, good sir.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

Abor.....lition.


- From FB

George W. Bush. Without Apology.


Friday, June 1, 2012

Leo 13th. Smart man.

From the beginning of the world, indeed, it was divinely ordained that things instituted by God and by nature should be proved by us to be the more profitable and salutary the more they remain unchanged in their full integrity. For God, the Maker of all things, well knowing what was good for the institution and preservation of each of His creatures, so ordered them by His will and mind that each might adequately attain the end for which it was made. If the rashness or the wickedness of human agency venture to change or disturb that order of things which has been constituted with fullest foresight, then the designs of infinite wisdom and usefulness begin either to be hurtful or cease to be profitable, partly because through the change undergone they have lost their power of benefiting, and partly because God chooses to inflict punishment on the pride and audacity of man.

Now, those who deny that marriage is holy, and who relegate it, stripped of all holiness, among the class of common secular things, uproot thereby the foundations of nature, not only resisting the designs of Providence, but, so far as they can, destroying the order that God has ordained. No one, therefore, should wonder if from such insane and impious attempts there spring up a crop of evils pernicious in the highest degree both to the salvation of souls and to the safety of the commonwealth.

- Arcanum ("Of the Hidden Things") (on Marriage)
  Papal Encyclical Issued by His Holiness Leo XIII, p.p., Vicarius Christi, 1880