Monday, June 11, 2012

Commerce Secretary in Economic Hit-And-Run

News Item: The Secretary of Commerce was apparently involved in two car crashes Saturday.

Authorities are investigating a series of economic crashes involving U.S. Secretary of Commerce John Bryson, authorities said Saturday.

Bryson was found asleep at the wheel and has been hospitalized, officials said.

Bryson was driving the United States economy when he allegedly rear-ended the Chinese economy as it was waiting for the recession to pass, according to a statement released by the L.A. County Sheriff's Department and the San Gabriel Police Department.

Bryson then crashed the economy a second time, authorities said. Individuals following Bryson on Twitter called to ask for police assistance.

Bryson continued to drive the economy and allegedly crashed it into the European Union's economy, which was stalled at an intersection.

There authorities found him alone and asleep in the driver's seat.

Authorities said drugs or alcohol do not appear to have played a role in the crash except insofar as their use was involved when making economic policy in the aftermath of the housing market meltdown of 2009. They said Bryson was cooperative. He was cited for felony hit and run but was not booked into jail because he had been admitted to the hospital. His condition was not known.

According to his official biography, Bryson was chairman of Edison International, the parent company of Southern California Edison for 18 years until 2008.

"Throughout a distinguished career in which he's led nonprofits, government agencies and large companies, he's been a fierce proponent of alternative energy," President Obama said in announcing Bryson's nomination last year.

"As CEO, he created a competitive power subsidiary, the Mission Group, which expanded across the U.S. and was a global leader in the privatization of power plants and electric systems in Australia, New Zealand, Thailand, the Philippines and several European countries," according to the biography. "Bryson has also served as a director on several public, educational and nonprofit boards, including The Boeing Company and The Walt Disney Company. He has also served as an adviser and a director of entrepreneurial and start-up companies including Coda Automotive, Inc. and BrightSource Energy. He was a senior adviser to the global investment firm Kohlberg Kravis Roberts (KKR)."

Earlier in his career, Bryson was an environmental lawyer and co-founder of the Natural Resources Defense Council.

He could not immediately be reached for comment, having what appears to be a massive post-stimulus hangover.

--With Apologies to Andrew Blankstein of the L.A. Times

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