Tuesday, June 21, 2011

Special Edition Greg's Giggles: Weinerschnitzel

Now how can you have a "Special Edition Greg's Giggles" when this is only the second Greg's Giggles this blog has ever run?

Simple. Some of Greg's most brilliant work recently has been about our late, lamented former Congressman from the Great State of New York. Unfortunately a Weiner joke is like a Weiner left out overnight: i.e., with a very short shelf life. So we proudly present to you Greg Schankin on Congressman Weiner, with the promise that we really have gotten this out of our system.


Heeeeres Greg.....

* After John Edwards, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and father-to-be Anthony Weiner, who would have thought Charlie Sheen would be dad of the year?

* Congressman Weiner resigned from Congress at a senior citizens’ center in Queens. It was smart, because they had no idea what Twitter is.

* Congressman Weiner’s wife returned Friday from her diplomatic trip to Ethiopia. She said she got really tired of Ethiopians telling her, 'I feel so sorry for you.'

* Photos of Congressman Weiner have surfaced of him cross-dressing in college, in bra and pantyhose, proving that even back then he knew he wanted to be a Congressman.

* Thank you, Anthony Weiner, for your premature evacuation.

* Congress has just lost its Weiner. One minute he's in, one minute he's out ... typical Weiner.

* Last week, Congressman Weiner contacted Nancy Pelosi to let her know he was resigning. Weiner let her know by texting her a picture of his penis cleaning out its desk.

* And I still don’t think Weiner gets it. Did you hear what he said at the end of his press conference? 'Anybody want one last look?'"

* Anthony Weiner’s still involved with the internet. Today he started his own site called MyTube.

* The good news is that they already found a replacement for Anthony Weiner. The bad news is that it’s Brett Favre.

* Congressman Weiner has checked into the That's Not Mayo Clinic!

* Anthony Weiner asked Bill Clinton for advice, and actually followed it for awhile. Of course eventually he was forced to tell the truth.

* Anthony Weiner has asked that everyone respect his privacy. I guess that wasn’t his concern when he was texting pictures of himself.

* The New York Daily News is reporting that Anthony Weiner’s car isn’t registered at the DMV. Oh man — he must be so embarrassed right now.

* The housekeeper said the affair wasn’t all Arnold’s fault because “it takes two.” Then Anthony Weiner said, “Actually, it only takes one.”

* President Obama said regarding the economy, "The sky is not falling." The poll numbers are falling, the market is falling, support for the war in Libya is falling, Anthony Weiner’s pants are falling, but the sky is fine.

* Congressman Anthony Weiner announced that he's resigning in the wake of the scandal. We thought he was going to stand firm but then he just went limp.

* Congressman Anthony Weiner has just checked himself into a treatment center for people battling chronic sexual dysfunction. Checked in? He's already there, it's called Congress.

* Tattoo it on your chest, MEMENTO-style, Weiner: 'The Internet is forever'.

* I don't know if laws were broken or not, but Weiner was sending around pictures of him in his underpants and I thought, Well, now, wait a minute, what is the big deal? Don't men and women in Congress get to mail their packages for free?!

* Every time a new woman comes forward in the Weiner mess , I imagine Tiger Woods sitting in the back room of a Hooters somewhere laughing his ass off.

* People wonder why Weiner engaged in such reckless behavior. If you wanted people to check out your crotch, go to the airport and go through security like everybody else.

* Democrats in Congress have been distancing themselves from the Anthony Weiner scandal. Just to be safe, everyone is staying a good 6 to 8 inches away at all times!

* This Weiner episode shows you how the political race has changed. Remember it wasn't that long ago when candidates would ask 'Where’s the beef?' You can’t ask that now!

* The Anthony Weiner scandal shows that despite the wars and the economy, we’re all really still in 9th grade!

(Doesn't it just. Till next time, that's Greg's Giggles.....)

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Keep it clean for gene.