Friday, June 24, 2011

It's Friday. Time for Greg's Giggles.

It's that time again. Laydeez and Germs, Mr. Greg Schankin!

* A government that robs Peter to pay Paul can always depend on the support of Paul. - George Bernard Shaw.

* Alabama just passed a tough immigration law that requires schools to find out if students are in the country illegally. Fortunately, schools know what to look for when identifying foreign students: high test scores.

* Rep. Michele Bachmann once said that gay people lead a very sad life. Apparently, she has never celebrated Halloween in San Francisco.

* Did you see that video where a crying baby is handed to Obama and as soon as the president holds the baby in his arms it stops crying? Do you know how rare that is these days that a politician is handed a baby from a crowd and it’s not his?

* If the police arrest a mime, does he still have the right to remain silent?

* Some people are like Slinkies ... not really good for anything, but you can't help smiling when you see one tumble down the stairs.

* We are born naked, wet and hungry. Then things get worse.

* Former New Mexico Gov. Gary Johnson lashed out at CNN as being elitist for not allowing him to participate in the Republican debate. He said CNN was robbing him of the opportunity to reach literally dozens of viewers

* The Great Wall of China is one of the great wonders of the world. Since they put up the wall, not one Mexican has snuck in the country.

* The beautiful star of the TV show “Mad Men,” January Jones, is pregnant but she will not reveal who the father is. To which John Edwards said, "Why can't I meet women like this?”

* I used to eat a lot of natural foods until I learned that most people die of natural causes.

* Al-Qaida announced that they’ve found a replacement for Osama bin Laden, thanks to all of you who called in and texted your votes.

* The Florida Marlins just named 80-year-old Jack McKeon their new manager. It wasn’t a great start. Last night, he had to make four trips to the mound and 12 trips to the bathroom.

* People are bidding for a private lunch with Warren Buffett. So far, the bidding has reached $2 million. Buffett says the first financial tip he’ll give the winner is, “Try not to spend $2 million on lunch.”

* Last night was the first Republican debate, Mitt Romney faced his fiercest ideological opponent: himself from four years ago.

* The closest I ever got to a 4.0 in college was my blood alcohol content.

* What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a lawyer? Someone who makes you an offer you can't understand.

Abadia, abadia, tttthat's all, folks.....

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Keep it clean for gene.