Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Why God Can't Get Tenure at Any University

I did not write this; it appeared in my in-box one day from God knows where.

But I wish I did.

- - - -

Why God Can't Get Tenure at Any University

1. He has had only one major publication.

2. It wasn't in English.

3. It had no references.

4. It wasn't published in a refereed journal.

5. Some even doubt he wrote it himself.

6. Sure he created the world, but what's he done
since?

7. His cooperative efforts have been quite limited.

8. The scientific community has had a hard time
replicating his results.

9. He never applied to the ethics board for permission
to use human subjects.

10. When one experiment failed, he tried to cover it
up by drowning the subjects.

11. When subjects didn't behave as predicted he
deleted them from the sample.

12. He rarely came to class, just told students to
read the book.

13. Many say he had his son teach the class.

14. He expelled his first two students for learning.

15. Although there are only ten requirements, most
students fail his tests.

16. His office hours are infrequent.

17. He can't abide Marx and has never read Foucault.

And finally.....

18. He persistently exhibits a pro-Israeli bias in his
writings.

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Keep it clean for gene.