Friday, September 19, 2014

Land of Hope and Glory.... Still.....!



My Irish grandmother would be enraged, but let me celebrate the decision by the good people of Scotland to say 'no' to independence.

The Island of Great Britain is a world power because they're united, as one. The UK would disappear within a decade if the Scots left, and England would become that worthless backwater it was in 1065.

Not that there aren't many people who would be delighted to see this happen. The following cartoon--from the Oxford Illustrated History of the British Monarchy--illustrates that this has been a threat for more than 40 years....

 
And why?

The Scots nationalists--the ones who ORGANIZED the movement--are not nationalists at all. They're leftists and they're sick of being vetoed by Conservatives and right wingers in the rest of the country. Scotland would be 90+ Labour forever if independent (i.e., they're proto-totalitarians...watch for the necro-leftists here to adopt the same tactic.)

Anyway. Lefties or not, I must congratulate everyone on BOTH sides for their civility. No Voters Were Harmed In The Making Of This Plebiscite.

God bless the British people--all of 'em!--and God Save the Queen!

Thursday, September 18, 2014

Airborne Ebola? (How nice.)

Well, if the NY Times say it.... um, ....

Well, this is a nonpolitical article. We can take it seriously.

Have a nice day, everyone.




PS. On the other hand.....

Extracts from the Little-Read Book: Chapter 022


Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* When the word "Dead" in "deadline" actually is real, it's amazing indeed how productive it can be. If it weren't for the last minute nothing would ever get done!

* I've been killed by dragons at least three times. Eaten by a xorn once. Twice taken out by the eye of the Beholder. And zapped by a god-powered lich in my last adventure. Yep. Bad things happen to D&D characters.

* It sez here that "ABC Apologizes for Story That Connected Mozilla CEO to Hateful Westboro Baptist Church" (newsbusters.org). "We apologize that more people didn't see it."

* So having parents who are heterosexual is a sign of 'privilege'? I thought it was a universal biological necessity. All of the human race's parents are heterosexual. QED and thus endeth the lesson.

* It sez here: Taliban Suicide Bomber Turns on His Own Commanders, Kills 15 (tolonews.com) Incompetence or malice? Either way, problem solved. "Most problems in this world can be solved with enough plastic explosive." - Albrecht Ritter Mertz von Quirnheim, who built the July 20 bomb (died July 21, 1944).

Or to quote the cartoon: "Now pay attention, I'm only going to demonstrate this ONCE."

* On target: Wilshire Gun Range gets liquor license approval (okcfox.com)

Add tobacco and explosives and your journey to the ATF will be complete!

* Boise State Professor: 'When May I Shoot a Student?' (breitbart.com) You shoot a student who is shooting or raping (an)other student(s).

Harvard Writer: Free Speech Threatens Liberalism and Must Be Destroyed (dailycaller.com) You may think that this is just some mindless teenaged feminazi blovating via her keyboard. But it is in fact extremely dangerous. Why? Because she's going to be very high up very quickly.

Example: there was a book I read as I prepared for law school. It was called "One L" and it was about a freshman year at Harvard Law in 1977. One of the leading radicals of that freshman class called for a complete reorganization of the law school along Leftist lines. She later became head of the Dukakis presidential campaign in 1988 and is now a leading pundit. Susan Estrich.

Lefty lunatic freshmen become lefty lunatic leaders, if they come from Hahvahd. Watch this person.

* Term limits? Two words: Winston Churchill. 40 years in Parliament and you know the rest.

* The Terms of Our Surrender (nytimes.com) Some thought it paranoid.... Vae Victis! Woe to the Vanquished!

* No American flags? On Cinco de Mayo in a majority Hispanic high school? The 9th Circuit said that that ruling is OK. Keep in mind that this is in the specific context of a high school. High school principals and teachers have censorship powers unlike anyone else's, largely because they have to deal with the reality that sixteen year old boys are often thugs (and sixteen year old girls are completely insane). But. This is called 'the heckler's veto' and it is an old story in First Amendment law. It dies every time it goes to the Supremes. So it will here.

* It sez here: Mother Who Confessed To Poisoning Baby Said She Wanted To End His Sufering: Police (www.huffingtonpost.com) "Mercy killing" is NEVER about relieving the suffering of the victim--it is (always!) about relieving the suffering of the killer who doesn't want to deal with the consequences of caring for the victim. 

And yes, this very much includes insurance companies.

More Tuesday.

Wednesday, September 17, 2014

Repost: Heroes from The Other Side:
Soviet Heroes of Space
(From The Tattered Remnant Series)

Reposted from July 1, 2013.

====================

Forty two years ago yesterday, June 30, 1971, three Soviet Cosmonauts gave their lives in an explosive decompression accident as they reentered the Earth's atmosphere. The mission was the Soviet* Soyuz-11 mission, and the crew members were Vladislav Volkov, Georgi Dobrovolski, and Viktor Patsayev. After thirty days on a primitive space station, Salyut-1, they returned to earth, but their ship was not fully sealed and they died during reentry.

They were, let me say without hesitation, heroes, and fully deserved to be remembered as such.

But they were not the only Soviet heroes of the early space age.

I'd like to take a moment to ask you to remember another hero of those days: Vladimir Komarov, who died in space, horribly, with knowledge aforethought, in order to save the life of a friend.

(The following is taken from #42 of The Tattered Remnants series.)




HIS LIFE FOR HIS FRIEND:
COSMONAUT VLADIMIR KOMAROV (1927-1967)

In downtown Moscow, there still stands a hotel which remains, to this day, a monument to the fear generated by Stalinist tyranny.

The Metropole hotel is a great heap of socialist realism dating back to the mid 1930s. It is highly asymmetrical: the left side of the building is plain, the right, quite ornate.

The story goes that when the hotel was built, two plans were presented to Stalin for review, side-by-side, with a line down the center indicating that he needed to choose between the two styles.

It's said that Stalin, who often didn't pay close attention to paperwork submitted to him, just scribbled his name and the word "Approved" across the middle of the page. And rather than tell their "Vozhd" ("The Boss") that he had screwed up, the terrified sycophants who surrounded him went ahead and ordered the hotel be built as approved, asymmetrically.

Think of the implications of that for a moment.

This was but one instance of rule by "The Boss", a tyrant surrounded by (real) yes-men who could not ever contradict him for fear of their lives. It is said he was so feared that his personal chamberlain kept spare pairs of pants ready to hand, so that those who went to see Stalin personally would have something to change into if they lost control of their functions out of fear of being in his presence.

Rule by "The Boss" remained the curse of Russian life; Stalin's successors ruled much as he did up to 1992 when the Soviet system was (we hope!) overthrown.

This is a story of a man who received an order from The Boss (and his lackeys), and, knowing full well that he was choosing slow death by fire, chose to take the mission rather than kill a national hero who also happened to be his best friend.

His name was Vladimir Komarov, and, in 1967, he was given a hideous choice: to go into space in a rattletrap spacecraft that was certainly not going to survive reentry... or refuse to board and let his secondary relief take the trip.

Problem was, the secondary relief was Yuri Gagarin, his best friend and a national hero.

It's been fifty years since 'Gaga' went into orbit--and half a planet away. But Gagarin was the Hero of the Soviet Union of the time (and he'd earned it, too); he was the Russian Niel Armstrong, first man into space.

Had Gagarin died in orbit after Komarov refused the mission, Komarov would very likely have not lived very long. Furthermore, Komarov and Gagarin were personal friends; Komarov could not sentence his best friend to die so horribly.

But the Vozhd ("The Boss"), in this case Leonid Breszhnev, ymech shemo, wanted a space triumph. The Americans had just lost three astronauts on the ground in the Apollo 1 fire. He wanted to demonstrate the USSR's technical superiority over the Americans, who were clearly pushing ahead in the race to the Moon. So the order came down: there must be a launch.

Even if the Soyuz was as much a piece of deadly junk as Apollo 1.

The craft simply wasn't ready for prime time--and both Komarov and Gagarin knew it. There remained hundreds of flaws, any of which could cause a failure and death for the pilot.

But The Boss wanted a triumph--and the impenetrable wall of lickspittles who surrounded him would not let the truth get through.

So Komarov went into space in the Soyuz 1 spacecraft--confronting Gagarin at the launch pad to prevent Gagarin from taking Komarov's place.

The mission of Soyuz 1 on launch was to meet up with the Soyuz 2 craft, launched the day following, in an orbital rendezvous, and then return to earth.

Everything went wrong.

And what's worse, everything that went wrong he knew was going to go wrong.

First, Soyuz 2's launch was cancelled, so the entire point of the mission was scrubbed even before reentry began.

And then it got worse.

Let Wikipedia give the details:
On orbital insertion, the solar panels of the Soyuz module failed to fully deploy, thereby preventing the craft from being fully powered and obscuring some of the navigation equipment. Komarov reported: 'Conditions are poor. The cabin parameters are normal, but the left solar panel didn't deploy. The electrical bus is at only 13 to 14 amps. The HF communications are not working. I cannot orient the spacecraft to the sun. I tried orienting the spacecraft manually using the DO-1 orientation engines, but the pressure remaining on the DO-1 has gone down to 180.' Komarov tried unsuccessfully to orient the Soyuz module for 5 hours. The craft was transmitting unreliable status information and communications were lost on orbits 13-15 due to the failure of the HF transmitter which would have maintained radio contact whilst the craft was out of range of UHF receivers on the ground.

As a result of the problems with the craft, the second Soyuz module which was to have provided crew to perform an Extra-vehicular activity to Soyuz 1 was not launched and the mission was cut short.

Komarov was ordered to re-orient the craft using the ion system on orbits 15-17. The ion system failed. Komarov did not have enough time to attempt a manual re-entry until orbit 19. Manual orientation relied on using the equipped Vzor device, but in order to do this, Komarov needed to be able to see the sun. To reach the designated landing site at Orsk the retro-fire would need to take place on the night side of the earth. Komarov oriented the spacecraft manually on the dayside then used the gyro-platform as a reference so that he could orient the craft for a night side retro-fire. He successfully re-entered the earth's atmosphere on orbit 19. He was killed after the module crashed when the drogue and main braking parachute failed to deploy correctly.
The last line was not true; he died, horribly, and slowly, of burns long before Soyuz completed reentry.

A story on National Public Radio's web site (discretion advised before viewing!) includes both a recording of Komarov's hideous last imprecations against those who sent him in space to die, and an even more hideous picture of his burned corpse in an open coffin.

I hope that Leonid Breszhnev saw it.

Gagarin, it is said, wanted to confront Breszhnev about it; legend has it he threw a drink in Breszhnev's face at a reception after the disaster. We do know this: Yuri Gagarin died in 1968, only months after the Soyuz 1 disaster, in what was said to be a plane crash. God rest him.

And God rest Vladimir Komarov and may light eternal shine upon him, for "greater love hath no man than one who lays his life down for a friend." He reflected what is greatest and best of the people of Russia.

And, unlike some NASAs I could name, the space program he died to build is still going strong.

Tuesday, September 16, 2014

Extracts from the Little-Read Book: Chapter 021


Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* It sez here that Yemenis are studying tanker piloting in order to become suicide bombers. (Inside the Ring: Terrorist tanker training? washingtontimes.com).

Yes, investigate. But remember: if they're JUST Yemenis training to be tanker sailors and nothing more, leave them the hell alone.

* When it comes to fighting terrorism, Israel gets it. (But then when it comes to terrorism, Israel usually gets it.)

*  It sez here: Which Ancient Warrior Are You? (playbuzz.com) I'd be David, son of Jesse, but my slingshot skills really suck.

* Republicans are held to a higher standard of sexual behavior than Democrats, but then, loose women don't generally chase Republicans who aren't Newt anyway.

* It sez here: "22 Beautiful Stairs That Will Make Climbing To The Second Floor Less Annoying" (boredpanda.com) Pretty but deadly, all of them, esp. the middle one. We have pretty stairs at my law office. I hate them. They've almost killed me a dozen times these last 10 years.

* It sez here that a Dem Candidate Rips Gov. Martinez: 'Does Not Have a Latino Heart' (breitbart.com). Zo ein Aryan mashterracer says zat "She is not of the VOLK! She ist ein Untermensch!". Great. That ought to bring out the race bigots to vote for your candidate!

* EPIC MISTAKE! Justice Dept. staffer accidently calls wrong office - Issa's - asks them to leak document to the media (bizpacreview.com)   I'd like to think that there is SOMEONE in the Obama White House who is patriotic enough to willingly reveal the truth...

.....then I thought....

..... NAAAAAAAAH.

* No to Cruz. Smart man, but. Too young. Too many amateurs in the WH already. No more. Grow up, son.

Ted Cruz Booed for Supporting Israel, Walks Out (CBSnews.com) Why? The ancient insanity. "You against me. You and me against our half brother. The three of us against our father. All of us against the uncles and cousins. All of US against the clan. Our clan against all the other clans. Everyone against the Muslims. And us and the Muslims against the Jews."  Sad.

* It sez here: Which Bible verse describes you? (bitecharge.com): John 11:35. "Jesus wept."

* I got The Moon - What Tarot Card Are You? (quizsocial.com): The spare one with the company name printed on it.

* Making money out of rare metal exclusively or even primarily is economic madness. Read into the history of the 19th century when they had a depression not recession depression about every 10 years. This arose from the lack of money in circulation every time the ratio between gold and silver got out of whack one or the other would disappear from circulation and you'd have a depression. I'm an old time coin collector and I love gold and silver coins as collectibles. As money they are as primitive as crank starters for cars. How do you keep money in circulation? By having only one sort of money: on paper or bookkeeping.

* My dream is to have enough bookshelves for the books I own. And enough space for the shelves.

* "There are two novels that can change a bookish fourteen-year old’s life: The Lord of the Rings and Atlas Shrugged. One is a childish fantasy that often engenders a lifelong obsession with its unbelievable heroes, leading to an emotionally stunted, socially crippled adulthood, unable to deal with the real world. The other, of course, involves orcs." - John Rogers

*As for the present state of affairs, the skunk rots from the head down.

* The 3,000-year-old PLONK: Ancient Hebrew text unearthed in Jerusalem revealed to be a label for... (dailymail.co.uk) Translation: Mogen David 2020 BC[E]

* "First they ignore you. Then they mock you. Then they hate you, then they shoot you. Then you win." - Gandhi.

* I am ambiclumslious. I am equally a klutz with both hands.

* Any husband who thinks his wife 'doesn't work' because she's a 'housewife' probably sleeps on the couch. Or deserves to.

* Could This Be the Real Reason the New NYC Mayor Vowed to Ban Horse Carriages in NYC? (theblaze.com) When they say it's for the public good, it's NEVER for the public good.

* "Extraconstitutional change".... i.e., TREASON.

* House Kent. Symbol: The Porcupine (harmless and just wants to be left alone but God help you if you stick your nose in its business). Motto: "The Hell with Winter Already!" (Yes I have been overdosing on Game of Thrones.)

More Thursday.

Monday, September 15, 2014

Religious Tolerance
in the Detroit Metro Area:
Not What It Seems


I saw this sign today in Dearborn Heights. (The Druze are a spinoff of Islam, considered heretics by most mainstream Muslims.)

Read the cutline below: "God Bless America."

Translation into English: "We're Druze, not Muslims. Please don't burn us down."

You also see similar signs in Arab Christian liquor stores in metro Detroit: prominent pictures of Jesus and Mary, which don't sell much in the way of liquor but may act as arson deterrents.

They're not the only ones. Take the Sikhs. In the days that followed 9/11, there was one (1) retaliatory murder nationwide, and it happened RIGHT HERE in the Detroit area: a Sikh liquor store owner was shot because he wore a turban. Some lumpensuburban white goons wanted payback. They got it. There is a Sikh temple here in town. It (now) has a very large American flag painted on one of its outside walls.

What worries me is the unspoken assumption that they'll be harmed if they don't publicly declare their pro-Americanness.

God bless America, indeed. (((facepalm))
 

Heigh ho, heigh ho, it's....
The hell with that.
Time for GREG'S GIGGLES!


















Ladies ‘n’ Germs, Mr. GREG SCHANKIN!

* It’s been discovered that a healthy 24-year-old woman in China has lived her whole life without a major part of her brain. Scientists are calling her "the lost Kardashian."

* People who purchased Olive Garden’s 7-week unlimited pasta pass are being told that they must show their ID in the restaurant to prevent fraudulent use of the cards. Unfortunately, by week 5 none of them will look anything like their IDs.

* Apparently Taylor Swift and Katy Perry are fighting. That's according to my source, which is a group of 12-year-old girls I ran across in the street.

* Usually when you hear Katy Perry versus Taylor Swift, it's a drunk bachelorette party argument over what karaoke song to sing.

* A new condo development in New York is charging a million dollars for parking spots. A million dollars to park your car — wouldn't it be cheaper to just get a ticket every day for the rest of your life and park wherever you want?

* Don't get the wrong idea. These New York parking places are not only for the wealthy. Anybody with $1 million can buy one. By the way, I understand there's a parking place available in the players' lot at the Baltimore Ravens' stadium.

* In Detroit today it is cloudy — just like Roger Goodell's future.

* Apple is now saying that the new Apple Watch needs to be charged every single day. Also charged every single day: someone in the NFL.

* The number of single people in the U.S. is at its highest level in 38 years. I think the makers of Häagen-Dazs and the makers of Hot Pockets just high-fived each other.

* During his speech Wednesday night, President Obama announced that the U.S. will lead a huge multinational coalition to fight the terror groups in Iraq. Of course, most people just turned it off because they thought it was a rerun.

* Confidence is the feeling you sometimes have before you fully understand the situation. [Ain’t that the effin’ truth! - Ed.]

* The president reassured Americans that while we face no immediate threat from ISIS, we've got a ton of bombs sitting around so we're going to use them.

* Guess who we may be partnering with to fight ISIS. None other than Iran. Iran used to be our enemy back, like, last week, but now we may be upgrading our relationship to frenemy.

* It's never good news when the president addresses the nation in prime time. He never comes out and says, "Great job, everybody. I'm throwing y'all a pizza party."

* At Tuesday's big Apple event, music guests U2 gave away their new album for free. I suppose that means they are working "pro Bono."

* Two 90-year-old lesbians were married last week in Iowa. That was tonight's installment of "Things I never guessed would happen in Iowa."

* Pictures of the happy lesbian couple haven't been made public. But if you see 90-year-old lesbians in Iowa, odds are it's them.

Thththththtat’s all, fffffolks......

Saturday, September 13, 2014

Fridge Pics: Memes of the Week, 9/07-9/13, 2014














Friday, September 12, 2014

AND NOW AN IMPORTANT MESSAGE (REALLY!)



Attention!!!


The Michigan State Legislature is considering a bill that will give courts FINANCIAL INTEREST IN FINDING YOU GUILTY.

HOUSE BILL 5785 proposed (by the GOP alas) will allow courts to assess costs to convicted criminals before the court.... i.e., to pay for the court itself.

It makes sense, until you consider the fact that it GIVES JUDGES A FINANCIAL INCENTIVE TO FIND YOU GUILTY. (And I know I'm repeating myself.)

The Michigan Supreme Court found this practice illegal in June--in the case People v. Cunningham, the Supremes ruled that court costs were NOT LEGAL, as no statute authorized the authority to assess it. Courts have been doing it for years, but it's out and out theft.

This bill, HB5785, legalizes that.

This is about raising revenue for the courts at gunpoint.

But it is more than that. This is utterly bogus. It's evil. Why? Do you want the Court to get a $1000 payoff for your guilty plea?

No.

Call your state legislator (Lower House, not Senator and remember, Lansing not DC) and yell at them (nicely).  Make it clear that this law is completely evil and you do not want it to be put in place.

Here follows a video explanation by my good friend William Maze, Esq., one of the top DUI practitioners in this state. He explains it far better than I can.

CALL YOUR LEGISLATORS! LET THEM KNOW THAT THIS IS A BAD IDEA!






Money where mouth is:



GO AND DOEST THOU LIKEWISE.  Thank you.

Thursday, September 11, 2014

9/11/2014: Thirteen Years.
(Yes, I'm still pissed off.)



NEW PROPOSED WTC DESIGN, 9/12/2001

....and just a reminder.





Wednesday, September 10, 2014

In remembrance of September 10, 2001.

The last day of the old world.



Tuesday, September 9, 2014

Extracts from The Little-Read Book: Chapter 020


Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* As we approach 9/11/14, we remember the guys who blew up the Trade Center in 1993, how they tried to get a rebate or refund for the blowed up truck, and how laughably easy it was to capture them. And how we laughed at them afterwards. | Ha ha in freakin' deed....Imagine. Thinking that you could bring down the Twin Towers with a U-Haul! Absurd.

Unfortunately, crazy stupid and angry people can also be quite persistent. Alas.

* It sez here that "Girl Scouts Join Planned Parenthood at Huge Pro-Abortion Conference" (lifenews.com) Anyone who thinks the Hitler Youth was abolished needs to think again.

* Yes my last name is Kent and my mother was named Martha. However: I only turn into Superman under certain circumstances none of which involve phone booths...

*  Serotonin reuptake inhibitors. The bronto in the living room!

* I remember a planet where Captain Kirk told an inhabitant: "You can't base your government on ... comedy routines!" The inhabitant replied: "Oh, really? I thought it was quite common. Not by that name of course."

* There were corrupt priests in the middle ages too. Back then however the stereotype was that the priests were screwing *girls.*

* It Sez Here: Secret Service agents in Obama's Europe detail sent home washingtonpost.com Drunk Secret Service peeps is an old story. Just ask Abe Lincoln.

* You complain that there are people running around with visas that expired last week. Oh well.    An immigration system so strict as to arrest someone the day after his visa expired would require a Gestapo. And if one thinks DHS would restrict their law-enforcement powers to going after illegal aliens in that circumstance, that person is already the very slave they're looking to turn us all into.

* Give me a theocrat over an atheocrat, seven days/week and twice, um, on Sunday. Theocrats think they're above everyone but God. An Atheocrat thinks he's above everyone including God. An atheocrat is free to kill whoever he wants, whenever he wants, if he thinks he can get away with it. A theocrat answers at least to God. An atheocrat answers to nobody. Hence the bloodiness of the last 100 years. (Mao's agrimurders were founded on the belief that his people were mere ants to do his will. That's atheism through and through.)

* Boxcars to the borders? Read up on what happened to the Bosniacs in Serbia in 1992 and then get back to me.

* Bitcoin is nothing more than an electronic tulip bulb, except a real tulip bulb at least makes a pretty flower. And can be eaten in a pinch.

* Jimmy Carter is clearly a partial birth abortion survivor. Someone sucked out his brain and threw it in a toilet at birth.

* Ah but Nixon was WHAT party again?

* The emperor is both naked and ugly.

* Early memory: bobby pin + wall plug = unhappy little me. I remember it vividly. I think was about two.

* It sez here that "Liberal New Republic suggests Obama use military against Tea Party"  Be careful what you wish for, New Republic. You. may. get. it.

* "It's not magic, it's logic. Some great wizards are totally helpless when it comes to logic." - Hermione Granger

* The UN is an instrument for the nations of the world to gabble while the five Veto Powers do what they want. Which they do anyway.

More Thursday.


Monday, September 8, 2014

When life gives you lemons,
read GREG'S GIGGLES!





* ABC announced that Rosie Perez will join Rosie O'Donnell and Whoopi Goldberg as the new co-hosts of "The View." Which explains the show's new sponsor: Bose noise-canceling headphones.

* In a new interview, Hillary Clinton said the Bible is the most influential book she's ever read. Some people think she might be pandering to Southern Christian voters. Then Hillary said, "Oh come on y'all — little ol' me?"

* The last Friday in May, CNN had its worst 10 p.m. ratings of all time, with only 35,000 viewers tuning in. I left it on for my dog, and when I came back, she was reading a newspaper.

* Pope Francis is now telling married couples to have children, because only having pets could lead to anger or bitterness in old age. As opposed to having kids, which leads to anger AND bitterness in old age.

* I'm getting ready for Halloween. Today up at the house, we tested the electric fence. It's working.

* A man in Florida was arrested after he was caught wearing the swimsuit of a woman whose house had just been burglarized. Even worse for that woman, it looked better on him.

* Statistics for the 47 most damaging hurricanes revealed that those with female names killed twice as many people. The study found that when a hurricane has a woman's name we take it less seriously and don't prepare as well. Either that or the female hurricanes want to hang around and cuddle afterwards.

* The man who created the drug Ecstasy died recently at the ripe old age of 88. He'd done Ecstasy thousands of times. See, kids? That's what drugs will do to you.

* Not to get technical, but... according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution.

* Police in San Francisco are looking for a group of vandals who have been tipping Smart cars over. Well, they're assuming it's vandals. It could have just been a stiff breeze.

* It's Halloween night, and a woman from North Dakota says she's planning on giving overweight trick-or-treaters a letter explaining that sugar is bad for them — instead of giving them candy. Then those kids will hand HER a letter saying, "Toilet paper or eggs?"

* Yesterday the Pentagon announced that the United States has captured a leader responsible for the Benghazi attacks. Republicans were ecstatic and said, "So, they finally got Hillary?"

* You know that the United States recently traded an American POW for five Taliban prisoners. It's not as well known that the deal included Joe Biden, but the Taliban said no.

* I'm your right wing gun nut. You know me and fellow gun owners are responsible for all the carnage in our streets and our schools. Never mind that Ted Kennedy's car has killed more people than my entire collection of firearms.

* Congratulations to Kanye West, who is a new father and a world famous idiot. Kim Kardashian gave birth to a baby girl. Kim was in labor for six hours, thus marking the first time the words Kardashian and labor have ever been used together in the same sentence.

* A new report out of Chicago reveals that the crime rate plummets during an NFL game. Mainly because the most dangerous criminals are busy on the field.

* Gay marriage is legal in the U.K. Which is why today, Camilla asked Prince Charles, "So I can take off this dress now?"

* Dear Vegetarians: if you are trying to save the animals why are you eating their food?

* Lindsey Lohan is moving to London. Before long, she'll be slurring in a British accent.

* Researchers in Canada say they have discovered the part of the brain that is used to make decisions, and this is weird: If you're married, it's actually located in your wife's brain.

* I tell you, it's really amazing how popular baby Jesus was able to become without his mother posting a single picture of him on Facebook.

Saturday, September 6, 2014

Fridge Pics: Memes of the Week, 8/24 - 9/06, 2014

\
 





Friday, September 5, 2014

FLASHBACK FRIDAY:
THE RULES OF
BUREAUCRATIC WARFARE

...learned at great personal expense and compiled only after I ticked off my Honcho for the last time. (First run in 2009. After a week of fighting the Department of Homeland Security, I thought it appropriate to run this again.

------



The following is a repost of one of my earliest entries on this blog, from February 2009. It should be carefully reviewed by anybody who wants to make a career in the Federal or State bureaucracy. BE FORWARNED.

YE RULES OF YE WARFARE OF YE BUREAUCRACY


"Thus Always to POLADs"
00. Always check thy six.* This is rule zero as it cometh before any and all other rules. [Six: n. Your immediate rear; "six o'clock", the part of one's aircraft most likely to acquire an enemy fighter.]

01. Rememberest thou the Principle of the Most Holy Peter and forget it never.

02. Thou hast two bosses, Thy Honcho and The High Honcho whom Thy Honcho doth serve; when there is a conflict between them, servest thou Thy Honcho over The High Honcho.

03. Forgettest thou never that Thy Honcho can fire thee at any time, and that thou must always serveth him first before all, yea, even before the High Honcho. Rememberest thou that The High Honcho can fire thee immediately and more permanently, but has many other targets and his attention is divided amongst them; thou therfore hath a much reduced chance of receiving a smiting by his lightning bolts from on high than from Thy Honcho.

04. Nobody can be the servant of two masters; he will either love the one or hate the second, or love the second and hate the first. Noone can be the servant of both Thy Honcho and The High Honcho. (The fact that thou must do so anyway is thy problem.)

05. Remember that thou art what thou art only because thou makest Thy Honcho happy and makest Thy Honcho look good; forget this not, lest thou committeth a CLM (Career Limiting Maneuver) and be shitcanned.

06. If Thy Honcho is male and Thou art female, be nice and pleasant, but never too familiar and never, never dress in a manner too physically revealing (female receptionists/low rank secretaries can ignore this rule, but only before their 30th birthdays).

07. If Thou art male and thy underling is female, never shalt thou dippest thy pen in her inkwell. Forgettest this rule at thy eternal peril, for lo! this rule doth apply triply regarding receptionists/low secretaries; rememberest also that even if thou thinketh that the relationship is consensual now, twenty years from now it won't be if she retroactively changes her mind. (Corollary: keepest thou thy lust always, always to thyself; bureaucrats by definition hath no need to screw any but the public.)

08. Discretion is the better part of not getting caught. (See Rule 30 below.)

09. Choose Thy Honcho even more carefully than he chooses thee, for his sins are thine or very quickly shall become thine unless thou shalt quit in a few weeks. Yea, even those sins that occurred before thou beganst to work with him shall be thine, now and forever, amen.

10. Always check thy six. This rule is not repeated by accident.

11. Always check Thy Honcho's six.

12. When checking Thy Honcho's six, double check thy own, in case thou hast annoyed Thy Honcho recently.

13. Always check thy underlings' sixes lest they not check thine.

14. After checking thy underlings' sixes, recheck thine own in case they haven't.

15. Thou shalt act as a shit-screen for thine underlings, lest they fail to check thy six.

16. Honorest thou Thy Honcho in public. Never forgettest thou that, Peter Principle aside, he may not yet have reached his level of incompetence; even his decisions which appear nonsensical may have context of which thou art unaware.

17. It is thy job to determine what that context doth be before he does.

18. Diss Thy Honcho to anyone other than thy spouse at thy eternal peril; and disseth Thy Honcho not even to thy spouse if thy marriage is rocky.

19. Fearest thou not to keep thy wagon hitched to Thy Honcho's, unless and until it is clear that he has met St. Peter and has risen to his level of incompetence. When that doth happen, thou must then find a new Honcho. Discreetly.

20. Be diplomatically frank with Thy Honcho in private, and never in front of a co-underling and never-never in front of thine own underlings. Failure to do this is a major CLM.

21. Always check thy six. (Like I said.)

22. Forgettest thou not that, the longer the title, the lower the weenie doth be on the totem pole.

23. Disseth thou not the individual with the long title, lest thou find thyself under him at a later time with a higher position and a shorter title.

24. Today's junior SOB is tomorrow's Honcho. Diss the junior therefore at thine own peril.

25. Never forgetteth that thy underlings, thy compatriots, and Thy Honcho are all as ambitious as thou art, and that fact can be made to serve thee.

26. When something goeth wrong and Thy Honcho doth inquire about it, tell everything. Thou art likely screwed regardless, but Thy Honcho may yet be able to pull thy chestnuts out of the fire if he/she is fully informed about it. (Corollary: If he knows about problem x before he is asked about it by the High Honcho, he may forgive problem x, particularly if problem x is fixed forthwith.)

27. When something goeth wrong and thine underlings inquire about it, tell them no more than they need to fix it.

28. Thou shalt not keep Thy Honcho in the dark about anything with the exception of thy personal life and thy lust for Thy Honcho (if applicable); these latter, yea, must remain eternal mysteries, amen.

29. Know the art of keeping thine mouth shut.

30. Rememberest thou the Eleventh Commandment and keep it wholly.

31. Rememberest thou that when Thy Honcho is replaced as replaced he must be, thy chance of thy career coming to an untimely end after a CLM goes up dramatically. Thy new Honcho will always weigh thine usefulness against the degree to which thou shalst annoy him; if the latter unduly outweighs the former, he will replace thee with one of his former underlings from a former job who will not do thine job as well as thou--but who will at the very least well know how not to annoy him.

32. Learneth thy Honcho's pet peeves ASAP and avoid them like thou shalt the plague.

33. Richard Friedel's Law: When outside bureaucratic forces come to 'investigate' a CLM by thine Honcho or thyself, (a) Admit nothing. (b) Deny everything. (c) Make counteraccusations. (d) Take hostages only when necessary. (e) Do not fear to take hostages if necessary. (f) Never, never call the Inspector General.

34. The rule immediately previous applieth not if the investigators art from law enforcement or the I.G. If this is the case, STFU and contactest thou thine lawyer forthwith.

35. When the choice is between thee going to jail and Thy Honcho or Underling going deservedly to jail, thou shall choose the Honcho or Underling. Loyalty hath its limitations. (Remember this even if the price of Thy Honcho going to jail is thy being shitcanned; it is forsooth better to be shitcanned and have to get a real job than to wind up in the federal tennis prison at Danbury.)

36. Security enforcement nazis are to be respected and feared but not overly so; they are like unto wasps who can be swatted if thou shalt move carefully enough.

37. Forgettest thou not that thy tongue is thy gravest enemy, particularly when Rules 33-36 are applicable.

38. Remembereth that even thy most junior underlings have one nuclear bomb at their disposal, to wit, thy underling's race resentment doth trumpeth thy Honcho's displeasure. An incompetent underling who cries racial discrimination hath enormous power to screweth thine resume (and trigger Rules 33-37) and get thee shitcanned. The fact that such cries are baseless or have been repeated by the same underling in previous positions will not save thee.

39. Kicketh thou not a former or lateral Honcho on the way down, no matter how much of an SOB he doth be, lest he later return the favor; Honchos have an unfortunate habit of bouncing back.

40. When given the choice between offending thy God and offending the bureaucracy, offend God; unlike the bureaucracy, He may forgive thee.

41. Model thyself on the Vogons, forgetting not that they were amateurs compared to what thou must become.

42. Rememberest thou the Klingon rule: if thou wouldst not have a thing heard, say it not. As regard thy tongue there are no do-overs.

43A. Thy Honcho is responsible for and always gets all credit for thy work.

43B. Thou art personally responsible for all thy honcho's failures; if thou does not wish to be, find someone junior to thee to be the scapegoat.

43C. If thou loveth not making thy junior underling responsible for thy and thy Honcho's failures, don't work in a bureaucracy, or in the alternative, become a Honcho thyself.

44. Did I mention to always, always, ALWAYS check thy six?


Richard L. Kent, Esq. is former Deputy Political Advisor (POLAD) to the Commanding General of Multinational Division North, Stabilization Force, Bosnia. (See Rule 22) until he did piss off his Honcho and was thereupon consigned to the stairs. He is now a solo attorney, and hath nobody as a Honcho, for which he doth thanketh his Creator.

Thursday, September 4, 2014

Extracts from The Little-Read Book: Chapter 019


Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* Ah, McCarthy. A drunken fool, an idiot, and 100% accurate.

How is that possible? Wasn’t he a drunken fool, an idiot, and a liar?

No. Here is the real truth about Joe McCarthy.

McCarthy's assistant was Roy Cohn. Roy Cohn prosecuted the Rosenberg spies. Cohn was fed accurate information about Communists from US Army intelligence. All McCarthy's information on Communists was stone dead accurate.

How do we know? Wikipedia: "Venona" (mark well the spelling) was a US Signals Intelligence project that allowed us to spy in Russian spy signals–in real time. We knew who those people were. And someone in the system.... talked.

* It sez here: Children With Down Syndrome Tell Mom About the Happy Life Her Son Will Have blog.heritage.org  Remember that many many people....would exterminate every last living Downs child in the world.(....and it's the primary reason they hate Sarah Palin so much.) And they've pretty much succeeded too. 90% abortion rate world wide (only moderately lower here in the States).

* I have no patience for drug-addicted THC "activists".

* Build the Great Wall of Texas. The Israelis have the right idea. I favor building a similar wall along the US Border with Mexico--not to keep out the Mexicans as such, but to keep out nukes. Today all you need to do is wrap your nuke in marijuana and there you are.

* If you rewrite My Fair Lady so that Professor Higgins was (say) Condoleeza Rice and Eliza Doolittle was (say) named Rufus Willis, American street dude.... you'd probably have a riot on your hands

* Quote of the Day: "I made two mistakes in my time as President- and one of them is sitting on the Supreme Court." --President Dwight Eisenhower describing his misgivings about nominating Earl Warren- presumed to be a staunch conservative- to the Supreme Court, where Warren quickly showed he was very much aligned with the liberals Earl Warren was the man who sent the Japanese to American concentration camps.... and spent the rest of his life repenting it. At other people's expense.

* Every dollar not taxed is a personal abomination to a leftist.

* Me, I rely on the church that Christ personally founded. For all its faults, well, Catholicism is the worst church in the world except for all the alternatives.

* You complain about amnesty: "What about all the people waiting in line lawfully?" For them, sorry.

Really. People get all upset about "illegal aliens voting." Yet they're eager to give a "vote" TO PEOPLE WHO HAVEN'T EVEN COME HERE YET.

If we decide to give a break to people already here as a matter of public good and public security, those waiting patiently in line get absolutely no say whatsoever. Hiding behind 'people waiting in line' is lower than sphagnum moss.

* I hear sneers at the word "amnesty" for illegals. Well the illegals are here because we murdered 55 million people, half of whom would be working adults now. The parents of the aborted *got* their amnesty!

* From Wikipedia: "During this spring frenzy, hares can be seen "boxing"; one hare striking another with its paws (probably the origin of the term "mad as a March hare"). For a long time, this had been thought to be intermale competition, but closer observation has revealed it is usually a female hitting a male to prevent copulation." Yeah, I know what that's like.

* I'm not worried about the eternal effect of my failing my Catholic pieties. Christ knows--literally--He has so much to pick from if He's looking for a reason to send me to the down escalator.

* The theft of the Crimea by Russia is intolerable. That can’t become the new normal What if we were to invade Canada? America invading other countries to expand territory and incorporate them into the US radically violates international norms. We did it that way in the 19th century. So did the Russians. We're not supposed to do that any more. Neither are they. And Ukraine is not Russia.

* It sez here that "White House looks to regulate cow flatulence as part of climate agenda... We're all gonna be made to go vegan. It's part of the agenda.

* "I recall a planet where those elected to office went to prison FIRST. 'It saves time.'"

More Tuesday.

Tuesday, September 2, 2014

Extracts from The Little-Read Book: Chapter 018


Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* Yes, we need to stand up to Russia, NOW. A stitch in time saves nine. You really don't want to live in a world where great powers can annex pieces of their neighbors at gunpoint. You really don't.

* Journalistic fellatio is a long standing Washington DC tradition. You see it on TV with the softball pitchers lobbing juicy targets at Democrats. But it's not a new phenomenon. Ever read anything about Kennedy by William Manchester? I love Manchester--particularly his American histories and  his writings on Churchill--but his one great failing was his inability to hear anything bad about the Kennedys. In that shameful respect he was a Kennedy house poodle.

* First we win election. Then we impeach. Then we arrest. Then we charge, convict, and imprison. In. That. Order.

* "A man was on his way to Jericho when he was set upon by robbers.... who then was this man's neighbor?" Yes, this principle applies to nation states.

* There is a different between a prophet and an ironist. A prophet looks ahead and warns of pitfalls. An ironist looks at his society and says "You suck!" ... usually because it does. But he looks backwards, not forwards, and does little to save the society he critiques.

* I would never want to be a prophet. Why? – let Nietzsche explain: "Prophetic men – You cannot divine how the prophetic men suffer: you think only that prophecy is a gift that you would like to have for yourselves. Not so. Let me explain by simile: How much animals may suffer from the electricity of the atmosphere and the clouds! Some of them, as we see have a prophetic faculty with regard to the weather: for example, apes (which one can see both in menageries and at Gibraltar). It never occurs that it is their sufferings–they are prophets! When a positive charge of electricity, under influence of an approaching but invisible cloud, is suddenly converted into negative electricity, an alteration of the weather is immanent: these animals behave as if an enemy were approaching them: they prepare for defense, or flight: they generally hide themselves - they do not think of bad weather as weather, but as an enemy whose hand they already feel!" (Gay Science, #316)

* Anyway, being a prophet sucks. Who claims to wear the mantle of the prophet claims the shirt of Nessus as well. I do NOT claim to even remotely be a voice of the divine. I simply see disaster ahead, and I wave my arms and shout in warning. It is all I can do. That probably makes me an ironist without an iron. (Certainly without a 9-Iron. I leave that to the President.)

* Anyway.   I try to tell the truth as clearly as I can see it. I know that my message will be rejected by most. But future generations will first read my words and roll their eyes: "No s–t, Sherlock," will be their assessment. Until maybe when they look at the publication date.

* It's REALLY annoying that I remember my own childhood with much more clarity than I do my kids'.

* Why I don't like the death penalty: "Do not be so quick to deal death and judgment, Frodo. even the wise cannot see all ends."

* I'm one of the jets that sang with Bennie. So spaced out.
    
*  OTOH, I like Uncle Frank but I haven't figured him out yet. I also don't know what, if anything, to believe about him from the Press.

* It sez here: Pelosi: It's the Affordable Care Act, not Obamacare (dailycaller.com) And I am Marie of Roumania.

* Anders Breivik, mass-shooter in Norway who shot all those kids a couple years ago, was NOT "right-wing". He was a Nazi. No different from the tens of thousands of ghouls disguised as good looking blond men--many of whom were from Norway!--who opened up with machine guns on innocents seventy years ago, except he didn't have a uniform. And certainly he had *nothing whatsoever* to do with American conservativism, thank you very much.

* Believe it or not, there are faithful found in the most unlikely of places, even in the Vatican!

When Tuesday = Monday, it's Time for GREG'S GIGGLES!



Ladies ‘n’ Germs, Mr. GREG SCHANKIN!

* According to an anthropologist from the University of Hawaii, who spent years studying this, Hello Kitty is not actually a cat. I hope the anthropologist was studying other stuff, too.

* The anthropologist said she was preparing for a museum exhibit and according to the company that makes Hello Kitty, she is not a cat. She is a cartoon character. And a little girl. But not a cat. That makes as much sense as Hasbro announcing that Mr. Potato Head wasn't a potato.

* Hello Kitty is a cat. I don't know why they would take that position. Maybe there's a translation issue.

* How many of you have kids heading off to college? Well, don't you worry, because that liberal arts degree, that thing is a license to print money.

* Chinese authorities have seized 30,000 tons of what? Chicken feet. Because they're tainted. Well, there goes my cookout.

* Is there really a difference between tainted chicken feet and non-tainted chicken feet? It's negligible.

* It's Labor Day weekend. Labor Day, of course, is a holiday where people take three days off from being unemployed.

* It's Labor Day weekend — time to put up your Christmas decorations.

* You can now buy a pack of beer containing 99 cans. A 99-can pack of beer. Who says America has lost its competitive edge? Go America!

* Burger King is moving to Canada. they bought the doughnut place, Tim Horton's. Financed by Warren Buffett, burger king will be moving to Canada to avoid paying taxes. Hearing about it, president Obama immediately took away Buffett's medal of freedom.

* Apple is secretly developing a new product rumored to be the largest iPad they've ever made. It's said to be 12.9 inches across, and it will be the first iPad that folds out into a full-size bed.

* I just spent a lot of money getting the small iPad and now there's a big iPad I'm also going to get. They come with a pre-shattered screen for that cool, broken-in look.

* An iPad that's 12.9 inches — it doesn't sound big, but it is big. And it's going to make those people that take pictures with their iPad look even more ridiculous.

* According to a report from the United Nations, the damage from global warming could be irreversible. It's clear we need to do something. We need to give the Earth the ice bucket challenge.

* Did you hear about the earthquake in California's Napa Valley? That's wine country. The Red Cross now says they want some donations of Merlot.

* A 6.0 earthquake. It was so powerful it knocked Arnold Schwarzenegger off his housekeeper.

* 6.0 — I've had heart attacks bigger than that.

* But still: it was a big one, a 6.0 earthquake. It was so powerful that Lindsey Lohan was driving on the right side of the road.


Ththththat’s all, ffolks......

Monday, September 1, 2014

9.1.1939 - 9.1.2014

Today we remember September 1, 1939, the end of the Old World..... brought to you by an evil man--Hitler--and a feckless coward who was afraid to stand up to evil--Neville Chamberlain.... and from which Winston Churchill saved us all.

Remember.

Sunday, August 31, 2014

Barack O'Bueller?


It just struck me....

Is it possible....

.... is it really possible ....

.... that Barack Obama is really Ferris Bueller all growed up?


Think about it.

He's from Chicago....

He skates through life on a wing, a prayer, and a bucket of bullshit...

He hasn't ever actually accomplished anything ....

And he's still, in spite off all, popular....

My God, is he popular.



Saturday, August 30, 2014

This Is So Epic It Will Take The Place of Fridge Pix This Week.

 

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
  
I had precisely this same reaction.

Unfortunately my three kids weren't with me. They can't do movie theaters.  Way too loud.

Many thanks to
 
http://www.tickld.com/x/something-you-never-realized-about-guardians-of-the-galaxy

for giving me the opportunity to steal their .jpg.

Click on this link above to thank them for me.

(Fridge Pics will be back next Saturday.)

Friday, August 29, 2014

FLASHBACK FRIDAY: MCCATHOLIC'S:
A Fast Food Allegory to Go, Please
(Or, Something's Fishy At The U)

People asked me what it was like going to a "Catholic law school." This symbolizes my experience--and why I wanted to bag it.


I dream that I am standing in line at a McDonald's, hungry, ready for a good hearty lunch. I look around. I see the smiling personnel in Mickey Dee's uniforms. I see the posters of smiling Ronald McDonald on the wall. I see the yellow Golden Arches sign out front. I have my ten dollar bill out.

So I get to the front of the line. I pay my ten dollars. Being Friday, I order Fish Filet Sandwich, Coke and Fries, and a Hot Apple Pie for after. They take my money, give me a handful of coins for change. Then they give me my lunch.

But wait. The lunch. It's not what I ordered. It has the McDonald's wrapping for a fish filet, but it's actually a Whopper. The Coke tastes funny: it's been replaced by a Pepsi, and the french fries are now a Wendy's baked potato. As for the Hot Apple Pie, it's not there at all.

"Uh, excuse me. I ordered a fish sandwich, a Coke, an apple pie, and french fries. What is this?"

"This is what we offer," the smiling face behind the counter replies.

"But it's not what I ordered!"

"Yes it is. You just didn't know it was what you ordered."

I go to the manager. "What is this nonsense? I thought this was a McDonald's. Where's my Fish? Where's my Classic Coke? What happened to my french fries and pie?"

"Well, you see," the manager says. "Institutions evolve. We've come a long way since we were founded. In the last two decades, we've diversified our menu. Not everybody likes McDonald's. Some people like Wendy's. Some people like Burger King. Some people like Pepsi. And hardly anybody eats Hot Apple Pie anymore."

"But every other fast food restaurant in town sells this same stuff. There's already a Wendy's down the street. There's already a Burger King over there. Pepsi is freely available. But this is the only McDonald's around."

"Exactly. If people didn't want Burger King, they wouldn't ask for it."

"Okay. Fine. So you've diversified. So you offer a wide selection. I don't care. This is still McDonald's. I want my Fish Filet Sandwich. I want a Coke, not a Pepsi. I want a hot apple pie. This is a McDonald's, and I want the McDonald's food I ordered."

"Well, we're a McDonald's. Yes. It's our institution's heritage. It's our background. It's where we come from. We're proud of our history. We honor the best McDonald's tradition by offering the best food available, regardless of the source."

"But this is a McDonald's Restaurant. You call yourself a McDonald's. You are obligated to serve McDonald's food if you are a McDonald's restaurant."

"Well, why don't you go to another McDonald's then?" says the smiling manager.

"In case you haven't noticed, this is the only McDonald's in this entire city. If I wanted to swallow a Whopper, I would have gone to the Burger King on New Jersey Avenue. There are seven fast food restaurants in this burg, but none of them even pretends to be a McDonald's. Except this one."

"So sit down and shut up and eat your meal," the manager says.

"No thank you."

I turn to the customers. I wave my arms at them to get their attention. "Hello! Anybody here? Anybody awake? They're lying about this being a McDonald's! It only looks like a McDonald's! You won't get anything that's really McDonald's here!"

"Shhhh!!!!" hissses the staff behind the counter, no longer smiling, chanting in unison. "Be quiet! Do You Want to Raise a Ruckus? Do You Want to Cause a Controversy? It'll Hurt Our Image! It'll Lower the Value of a Meal from This Institution! It'll Threaten Our Accreditation with The Salad Bar Association!"

"I don't care. This is McDonald's. I paid good money for a McDonald's meal. I want a McDonald's Fish Filet, dripping with Special Sauce. I want a Coca-Cola, a large Coca- Cola, with just enough ice to make it cold. I want a Hot Apple Pie that would melt a hole through the floor. I want a little baggie with fried potatoes in it and enough salt to make Lot's wife turn green with envy. I ordered it, I paid for it, and I want it now."

Now the staff is hostile. "I don't like your tone!" "You'll alienate all the whopper-eaters and Wendy's fans." "You fanatic! You want to take us back to the old days when we only served McDonald's food!"

The manager stares at me. "It's obvious that you're intolerant of Wendy's and Burger King! You're an enemy of Diversity! What are you, some kind of fast-food fascist? I'll bet you have a secret agenda to turn this institution into a White Castle!"

I throw up my hands. "Just tell me one thing. If we're not a McDonald's, why do we pretend it's still a McDonald's?"

An grin from the guy behind the counter.

"We're working on that."

And with that, I get thrown out of the restaurant.

============
This article first appeared in EUTOPIA #4, Fall 1997. I'm still waiting for my fish.

Thursday, August 28, 2014

Extracts from the Little-Read Book: Chapter 017


Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.

* The Russians, in WW2, trained dogs to think that meat could be found underneath tanks. The idea was to tie antitank mines to the dogs, let them loose, watch them run under enemy tanks, and then blow them up, dog and all. They failed to take into account that the dogs were smart enough to tell the difference between Russian and German tanks... and would only run under Russian tanks, as that was how they were trained. Ooops.

* Sorry, I lost all sympathy for the Palestinian cause when they blew up that Tel Aviv pizza parlor.

* I actually had a guidance counselor tell me to drop my Journalism major my freshman year. "There's no place in journalism for a Nixonite." (=conservative.... this was 1980 remember). I never forgave him.

* If you are on any of a number of major universities and reveal that you are a cissexual heteronormative, that is considered an extreme Career Limiting Move. One is often encouraged to become a LUG (Lesbian Until Graduation). However, while LUG status is revocable, the male equivalent is, generally speaking, not.

* Killing babies is killing babies is killing babies.

* I saw a movie about the marriage of C.S. Lewis to his Joy. Tried to imagine Lewis’s reaction to finding out that a movie was made about his marriage–something I am certain he never contemplacted for a moment.

* The secessionists were the most effective abolitionists of all. Even idiots can serve the will of God. QED.

* Putin. Who's next? Russia does not have a very reliable history of stupid-maniac-avoidance in their top office.

* It sez here: "I got Grape - What fruit are you?" (quizony.com) Banana. A very large and thick banana.

* It sez here: Sheriffs Coalition: Sheriffs Have Constitutional Duty To Refuse To Comply With Illegal Gun Control thefederalistpapers.org How about complying with same sex marriage ukazes?

* We have created a two-class system in this country to replace slavery. Instead of escaped slaves avoiding the patterrollers we have illegals by the millions driving the exact speed limit because they know that they can lose everything as a consequence of a traffic stop. Multiply that by 12 to 20 million and you have a political powderkeg.

* It sez here: Eric Holder Attacks John Roberts: Colorblindness Not Best Way to End Discrimination breitbart.com Holder should be arrested pronto. He's not interested in ending discrimination, he's interested solely in plunder and retaliation. Mostly plunder.
 

* As my father used to say, it all depends on whose ox is gored.

More Tuesday.

Wednesday, August 27, 2014

WHITE GIRL BLEED A LOT....
QUITE A WHILE BACK


Came across THIS story on my Facebok feed yesterday.

VIDEO: Thugs Beat White Girl Senseless For Carrying A Confederate Flag

Gist of the story is that a little teen pretty white girl (OF COURSE--if she weren't pretty it wouldn't be news), aged about 14, was assaulted by some black kids and they beat the crap out of her. Her offense was carrying a Confederate flag where they could see it, supposably while going to a VFW party.

What’s fascinating is the source of the story: a Local Fox news reporter interviewed her in front of the city police station and a VFW where she was going when she was assaulted. But somehow, the date of the attack wasn't given, and the location--"Warren"--was given without context. What state? And when? That was unclear too.

They looked awfully familiar.

Well, boy howdy.

Turns out that this story... from AMERICANNEWS.COM, a "patriotic" web site, was republishing a story from TWO THOUSAND FREAKING NINE and happened RIGHT HERE IN WARREN, MICHIGAN.

Not that you'd find out from the story.

MACOMB DAILY, APRIL 30 2009: CONFEDERATE FLAG SPURS ATTACK IN WARREN.

In other words: this story was from an AWFULLY long time ago. The 95 lb teenager has probably all but forgotten the incident.

Oh, and there's something else: the story carried THIS picture as the click-bait:


The "video" is NOT what you see in the pic above. ^^^ THIS gal is NOT the gal in the news story.  In other words, it's a lie.

So: why are these jerks dredging up this horror story from half a decade ago?

Only one answer: these assholes at AMERICANNEWS.COM are trying to generate white racist animosity as a follow up to Ferguson, MO.

Now, since this event took place in Warren Michigan–which is kind of sandwiched between my two home towns in Macomb County, Michigan–I need to rise in defense of what happened here. Yes, it happened, but it happened a LONG TIME AGO, and (as they say) "I question the motives" (and the timing!) of this ancient history.

All I can say is this: If those boys at AMERICANNEWS want to stir the shit-pot, they should be forced to lick the spoon.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Extracts from The Little-Read Book: Chapter 016


Wit, wisdom, pseudonietzscheanistic aphorisms, and bad jokes.
 

* "But The Black Knight Always Triumphs!"

* Obama? Vacationing again? And you have a problem with that? I want Obama on as many vacations as possible. The more time out of DC the less harm he can do.

* Carney: White House Learned About VA Scandal From News Reports realclearpolitics.com  If they learned about it from "news reports" that means that the internal emails that alerted them can now be deleted with impunity.

* Statehood for DC? In fairness, I'm all for that actually. It's population is large enough. Or at least DC should get one congresscritter and be able to vote for Maryland's senators. The Constitution is not perfect. And if this gives more House seats to Democrats, well, too damn bad.

* Origins of the universe. The good Father George Lamaitre got it right before Einstein did. ... maybe Einstein was no Einstein after all.

* Some people are allergic to any military intervention anywhere for any reason.... which is fine as a spiritual stance, but God help us if we ran the country that way.

* The whole war in Bosnia was manufactured by the Serb Communist party to delay elections there. All through the rest of Europe the atheist communists--and Slobodan Milosovic was an atheist core through--the atheist communists were driven from power. Slobo created the Bosnian "Muslim" crisis for the same reasons the "segregationists" created the problems in the American south in the 1950s and 60s... to distract their own voters from their own interests.

* Tom Cruise as an actor usually ain't half bad. Take "Valkyrie." I actually liked him as Stauffenberg, even if he was playing Tom Cruise pretending to be Stauffenberg.

* Better chillin' with Jesus than warming your toes with the other guy....

* Sheriff Joe Arpaio: Obama admin's deportation numbers ‘smoke and mirrors' [VIDEO] dailycaller.com I'm not a Sheriff Joe fan at ALL, but to a limited extent, this is true. They're counting 'border returns' or 'turnarounds' (people caught within 25 miles of the border on the same day and immediately returned) as 'deports,' even though legally they're not. They don't even count as illegal entries.

* Genocidal leftists are the most disgusting people on earth--by which I mean those who build GULags and Laogai and killing fields. They leave even lunatics like Charles Manson in the dust.

* Anti-Israel academic boycott turns ugly at Vassar legalinsurrection.com New Nazis, old story.

* Susan B. Anthony List's ‘pro-life gala' had progressive undertones amvalues.org Look, one can't expect everyone our side to agree with us on everything. But to me, one cannot support Democrats in anything as long as genocide is the foundation of the party’s belief system.

* The Shire is a long way from Mordor, but sometimes even hobbits need to make the trip.....

* What does pre-1989 East Germany have in common with Detroit? Three guesses and the first two don't count. One-party kleptocracy leads to bad things. It's as simple as that.

More Thursday.

Monday, August 25, 2014

"Hey Dad... you haven't posted Greg's Giggles yet."

No my son, I haven't.  Until now.
 

Ladies 'n' germs, Mr. GREG SCHANKIN!

Disney's stock just reached a new high this past week of $90.37 a share. That's when you know tickets to Disney World are too expensive — when it's actually cheaper to own part of the company.

* A new study found that having a big wedding boosts your chance of having a good marriage. While having a destination wedding boosts your chance of having friends who hate you.

* The Korean Aerospace Institute announced that their one and only astronaut resigned for personal reasons. Now all he has to do is get back to Earth.

* Kobe Bryant and Nike have teamed up to make a Beethoven-themed sneaker. They're motto is "Play basketball like an 18th century deaf German."

* Apple announced it will ban two toxic chemicals that are used in the production of iPhones. In a related story, that iPhone in your pocket right now is made of toxic chemicals.

* Last week a town in Minnesota elected a dog named Duke as its mayor. Yeah, they elected a mayor that pees on the street, sleeps on the floor, and eats out of the garbage. Then Toronto said, "Been there!"

* People are still fighting about immigration. Congress is suing the president. I'm not saying things are bad, but the Middle East just sent diplomats to negotiate peace in OUR country.

* Cinnabon is testing a concept store that will sell smaller cinnamon rolls. Yep, they say it’s perfect for people who love kidding themselves. "I’m just gonna grab one or eight of these little guys here."

* Kim says she wants to keep the baby out of the public eye. In fact, the E! network is developing a new show called, "Keeping the Baby Out of the Public Eye With the Kardashians."

* President Obama's wife Michelle has highlighted her hair. She has blond highlights in her hair. And those will probably be the only highlights of his second term.

* CNN got just 35,000 viewers. Even worse, most of those views came from monitors left on in the background on CNN.

* A Colorado man unsuccessfully tried to break into a University of Colorado ATM by spraying it with acid and waiting for it to eat the protective covering away. He was caught when authorities examined the three hours of security footage of his face.

*  President Obama is sending a couple hundred troops to Iraq. We spent six years trying to figure a way to get out of Iraq. And now we're back. But this time there is an exit strategy. Barack Obama has an exit strategy. In 2016, he's gone. [Or so it is hoped. - Ed.]

* There are only seventy-one days left until Election Day, or 80 if you are a Democrat and filed for an extension.

Ththththtat's all, fffolks......